Working for Lifestyle/Extras

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Working for Lifestyle/Extras
3621
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am

Hi Ladies :)

This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.

Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.

Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.

I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?

Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?

So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?

Thanks all :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 4:47pm
Yes you sure can! I did. It was fun while it lasted---15+ years.

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 4:50pm
That makes no sense. The sacrament of marriage doesn't have to cost anything. If it costs a lot, it's pure consumerism, not religion.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 4:52pm

"Being a nanny or an aupair are not much different."


They are very different.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 4:52pm

Ummmm, no, you didn't say that....THIS is what you said:

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Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 4:53pm
No, I don't think school is horrible for children. My older 2 go from 8:00-2:00 every day, my middle little goes from 8:00-11:00 every day, and my littlest goes from 12:30-3:30. I love school. I would send them on weekends if I could ;). I just feel bad tacking even more time onto his day--he is only 4 and it just seems like a lot of time to be away. This is truly a personal thing for me. It is not affecting him, it is affecting me. I own that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 4:53pm
So, because they are "have to work" moms, they're okay with you telling them their lifestyle is not ideal?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 4:54pm

"...but there is a connection between funding parochial education and the sacrament of marriage over college."


What's the connection? There are Catholic colleges aplenty out there.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 4:55pm
Your mom still feels guilty that she WOH after all these years?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 4:57pm
Guilt has no place in the life of a working mom.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 4:58pm

You just told me you and your money are more important than time with your children. There is more to mothering than errands, naps, feeding schedules, cleaning, cooking and diapering. So much more.

There is nothing more important than our children and to me, putting material wealth in the foreground overshadows the potential for a more full relationship with any child.

I take time for myself. If I'm not recharged, I'm not the best I can be for our family. I fully understand taking time for ourselves as women and mothers. Dads need it too, imho.

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

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