Working for Lifestyle/Extras
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| Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am |
Hi Ladies :)
This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.
Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.
Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.
I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?
Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?
So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?
Thanks all :)

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IT IS HER OPINION! Like I stated in my example...I think it is BEST for my children to go to our neighborhood school. I believe it is best for our children to go to a christian preschool. Other mothers in my neighborhood disagree and think it is BEST for their children to go to PRIVATE school and not go to preschool. So are they saying that I am inferior because I chose public over private or am I saying they are inferior because they chose private over our neighborhood school.
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Again...her opinion. Why get all in a funk because it is her opinion that SAH is the best option but not always an option? Again just because someone FEELS that something is best doesn't make it so NOR does it mean that others choices are inferior.
Well from the things you have stated here your DH wouldnt support you SAH even if you wanted to.
This post makes me have to go here. I am going to turn around YOUR words the way the other posters statements have been turned.
So please tell me how a SAHM is abdicating her responsibilities because she and her DH have decided that it is best for her to SAH? Are you saying that SAH aren't being responsible for her children because she doesn't work?
Sure their is a difference. However if I once heard someone say something that I thought made a lot of sense. No one can offend you by something they say unless there is a little truth to what they say. So while her opinion is that it is best that mom stay home it shouldn't offend anyone that can't or choses NOT to stay at home.
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Never said it did. Just pointing out that her posts that SAHM are the evil ones here, it really goes both ways. Not to mention not much insults me.
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Then debate what she said. She said she felt it was best for mom to be at home. She didn't say that WOHM are inferior because they chose not to.
Edited 12/1/2006 8:18 pm ET by mbanc17
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WHERE in the world are you getting this stuff from???? Just because she enjoys holding a job (and making the money that she earns) does NOT in any way, shape or form indicate that the job is more important than her children. That's a hugely insulting thing to say about another mother -- no matter what her work status.
Maybe that's how my sah neighbor feels about her kids? Maybe she just cares about all of the things that her husband's salary can buy -- new pool, lexus, mercedes, jet ski, one month house rental at the shore throughout July, disney every year, etc.?
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Really? You mean that this is really supposed to be NEWS to wohms??? Yes, we've done the "much more" as well as "much more' on top of that.
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Amazingly we can know how important our children are AND hold down a full time job. So, what is a "full relationship" with a child??
Carole
as am i with mine. As a wohm, i don't work evenings, weekends, holidays, school vacations or summers. I woh 8:00-2:30 (with an hour per day conmmute) for 186 days per year.
How's THAT for flexible? And yet, you would tell me that HE is has an "active role" in your children's lives while mine don't have, how did you put it, a full-time relationship??? WHAT the heck is up with that?
twisted. totally twisted thinking.
Carole
Ok... so we are not supposed to disagree with anyone's opinion or belief, because it's their opinion, and they are allowed to have it? Disagreeing with someone's opinion and being offended by their opinions are two different things. I'm going to ask you the same question, what SHOULD be going on here, if not disagreement? It's a debate board for crying out loud. It seems a little odd that you think noone should disagree with eachother, or that if they do, they are offended.
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Never said it did. Just pointing out that her posts that SAHM are the evil ones here, it really goes both ways. Not to mention not much insults me.}}
Ok... so... why did you post about it in the first place? You were countering people's assertion that phoenix had said something insulting with the fact that WOHMs also say insulting things sometimes. If it doesn't matter, then why did you point it out in the first place?
{{Then debate what she said. She said she felt it was best for mom to be at home. She didn't say that WOHM are inferior because they chose not to.}}
I'd be happy to. Just point out what she is saying SAH is the best in comparison to, if not WOH, and I will be glad to debate what she actually typed. (Because better and best are comparative value judgements, they mean nothing with out actually comparing to something else)
Edited 12/1/2006 8:31 pm ET by lindamom3kidlets
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