Working for Lifestyle/Extras

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Working for Lifestyle/Extras
3621
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am

Hi Ladies :)

This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.

Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.

Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.

I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?

Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?

So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?

Thanks all :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 10:59pm
I guess it isn't really agreeing to disagree. I just try my best to debate what someone says. I don't change what they say and use implications.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 11:11pm

Really? Thats interesting. Because in the late 1950's the teen birth rate was 96 per 1,000 births and in 2000 it was 84 per 1,000 births.

Care to explain that one?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 11:25pm
Not for defending some of this stuff...but one would have to believe that abortion laws had something to do with that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 11:31pm

<>

Ragging on people's posting habits isn't really cool, whether they are SAHMs or WOHMs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 11:37pm

http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/tgr/05/1/gr050107.html

Not really. That plays a slight part, but overall contraceptive use is up as well as abstinence.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 11:42pm
No they're not. Their Mom is still their Mom, no matter where she is.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2005
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 12:05am

<(I assume you're at least 40 since you have 5 children).>

My neighbor across the street had her 5th 6 months ago and is 35--the oldest is around 10, I believe. The 6 month old is already trying to walk, probably self-defense. . . :) She SAH and homeschools the oldest three (age 10, 7 or 8, and 5), and the dad WAH 3 days a week.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2005
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 12:21am

Exactly. DH certainly wouldn't be in the financial shape he is in right now without me-- managing our books for starters. Mortgage is paid off, own one vehicle free and clear, no credit card debt, no school loans, a few thousand owed on the other vehicle. I WOHFT for 12 years and saved for what was important to me, and he feels like me SAH is contributing to our son's well-being and the family's happiness.

Not all contributions are measured in dollars.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 12:53am
But that same poster ALSO claims to have been an au pair and then a nanny for 15+ years before having her own children.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 4:07am
One way or another, I find that all those things, whether squeezecheese or something else, ultimately do enrich my child's life, funny as that may sound. I bet your son will remember sharing velveeta on crackers with his grandma. I know my dd remembers moments like that, both with her grandma and with other caregivers. They all gave her small experiences and viewpoints that would not have occurred to me to give her.

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