Working for Lifestyle/Extras

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Working for Lifestyle/Extras
3621
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am

Hi Ladies :)

This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.

Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.

Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.

I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?

Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?

So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?

Thanks all :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 10:47am

Wow, my son doesn't seem to be suffering.


Luckily for us working moms...the studies and statistics agree...work status has little to do with how happy your children are and how they turn out.


But if you really want to think that they are suffering so that you can feel better about yourself...go for it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 10:52am
Just for the record Phoenix conceded somewhere that according to her beliefs, children suffer when their mothers WOH, regardless of the reason why the mother WOHs. So, at least she is not trying that canard.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 10:56am

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Do I think it is abdicating one's responsibility by placing one's child in daycare for the very important first 5 years of his life? Yes, in some cases>>

wow. sounds like a HUGE double standard to me.....Yuck.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 11:09am

it is truly amazing to me that any real, rational adult can purport something that is completely and utterly wrong on each and every level. It's beyond insanity to even suggest that dcps raise children on the minimal 40 hour week (forget the fact that the majority of children in dc are only there for 32 hours!) and that they are not being raised by their parents (who are responsible FOR THAT childcare PLUS all of the other stuff that is included with raising kids) who are with those children the balance of 128 HOURS per week for 18-22 YEARS. HOW in the world can you even make such a claim? And yet, you've done it over and over and over.

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sounds like every day OFF for a wohm, LOL! Imagine that, a year filled with 52 weekends (104 days), holidays, vacations, etc.

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no, wohms haven't done any such thing. they have, however, enlisted the services of a childcare provider to give the child a safe, warm, loving place to play and learn while mom is at work.

Of course, most of us wohms KNOW that there is no problem with working (yes, to make money) and raising kids - and that making money is not chosen "over" the children. THAT view is just BLECH.........

Yanno, I had to laugh when I read this because it's my understanding that I work in my home. I don't mind the term sahm. I don't mind being called a housewife. I don't mind because those jobs apply to what I'm doing. What they don't imply is that it's NOT a job. It's no wonder people like you don't think other people are raising your children because you think it's easy and NOT work! lol! Sure, it can be if you spend all day at the office and come home to spend a few measly hours with your family before sending the kiddies off to bed for a good 12 hours or so. It's no wonder you think it's not a job. hmmmmmm.... one has to wonder!

No, you don't have a PAID job. No one has said that you don't "work". ALL good parents work when they are at home with their kids, but generally, relationships are not jobs.

The rest is just drivel not worth addressing yet again.

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ROFLOL! Okay, THAT was funny. I'm trying to figure out what's "short" about 18 YEARS - especially if you add on that for each child so in essence you could be looking at 28 YEARS given a large gap between children.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 11:10am

Oh, I personally never said that SAH isn't work and is easy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 11:12am

<>


Well, hopefully, 18 years from now when my son is applying for college, if he wants to go to Ivy League, he can.


Then, a couple of years later, when my husband and I want to retire, we can.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 11:15am

I'm confused...what is a fact?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 11:16am

more funny!

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actually, what you're missing is that the "truth" in your statement ONLY APPLIES TO YOU and your family. It does not in any way indicate that the "truth" is for other families.

And you can go on and on about "respecting a mother's right to work", but your true attitude about working mothers screams through loud and clear.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 11:20am

so if she works from 2-10 pm outside of the home WITH her dh, who in the heck is watching the kids during that time? and why is that preferable to a regular 8 am-4 pm job?

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 11:26am

okay, i think i've found where your "logic" (if it can be called that) is going wrong...

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THAT's it right there. The need or want to work does NOT in ANY way "outweigh" the needs of the family. BOTH the need to work and the needs of the family can be accomplished all at the same time. I know, I know, you won't be able to understand that, but that doesn't mean it's not true. Great wohms (some even better than some sahms, LOL!) are doing it each and every day. It's really not rocket science.

AND since when have children needed ALL of our time??? How suffocating that would be for a child? How does that team them independence?

Carole, who's happy to give her children MOST of her time -- and keep some of the time for her new husband, her job and her hobbies.....

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