Working for Lifestyle/Extras

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Working for Lifestyle/Extras
3621
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am

Hi Ladies :)

This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.

Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.

Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.

I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?

Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?

So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?

Thanks all :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 10:35pm

My mom married at 18, had my sister at 19 and was divorced by 23. She married my father at 29, had my brother and I at 32 and 35 and my parents have been married for 29 years.

It definately is a case by case thing. My grandparents met in high school, married after 5 years of dating and were married for 56 years. They were together for 61 years total when my grandmother died. Stories like that, or your grandparents are just awesome.

Edited for spelling.




Edited 12/2/2006 10:38 pm ET by chaoticchemistry

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 10:59pm
I see, outdated = wrong. I get it. I see it as tried and true.

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 11:02pm
Really? And why does it even strike your fancy to figure that out? The numbers show up before 100. Have all four and a half years I've been here. You have some really odd ways to fill up your time, don't you? Not enough work at WORK for the WOHM?

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 11:04pm
Yes, they do. They may not give the physical necessities but they do other things which HELP raise the children in their care during the day. I think that's an odd way to view the people who do their life's work to help turn your child out to be the best they can be.

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 11:06pm
Then try debating and stop complaining. The post you are referring to was not a debate point. Get over it.

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 11:10pm

I don't think they are getting that I know what is best for my family. I know they know what is best for theirs but that I think there is a best which isn't what they are doing and I'm not doing perfectly by any means and that with my ideas and thoughts that I'd like to debate why I think the way I do vs. why they think the way they do.

Nope, they are hooked on it all being personal. It's not.

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 11:27pm

As a matter of fact, yes. I think it's hard on children when their parents woh. If only one has to do it then that is even better.

It's not tired nor ridiculous. What child would rather be with someone other than their parents day in and day out if they had their druthers? My argument isn't about the parents necessarily although it's been fun discussing all the stuff people post here. For me, it's about the children. I watched children be happy in my businesses for years. However, that was nothing in comparison to the happiness exhibited when mama or daddy came to pick them up.

A lot of anxiety is built up within children when they are separated from their parents. I'm not saying they should be with them 24/7. I'm just saying that the responsibility of personally caring for our own children would go a long way to improving what is already great within our children. By sending them out to othercare or bringing it into our homes (which I'm more fond of than othercare out of the home) creates an adjustment which, to me, is unnecessary. (unless there is some need for mom to woh and then the adjustment is necessitated by need)

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 11:32pm
I do think sah is best for all children when there is no abuse of any kind in the home.

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 11:36pm

Let's try the one stat which says girls married earlier back in the day. Like my mom. Married at 16. My next door neighbor--married at 13.

Your move.

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 11:38pm
I know who the mom is but who is doing the majority of the parenting? Othercare does.

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

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