Working for Lifestyle/Extras

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Working for Lifestyle/Extras
3621
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am

Hi Ladies :)

This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.

Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.

Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.

I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?

Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?

So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?

Thanks all :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 1:08pm
In those cases when a family is best off with a SAHP, why is it only the mother who abdicates responsibility by WOH?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 1:26pm

really? do you not rotate doctors during ob visits? does your insurance plan only cover her,not the partners in her office?

honestly,after 3 babies in 3 different areas,i've never heard of that unless the doctor was a sole provider,without office partners. i purposely avoided that for that very reason.....your arrangement does sound fantastic but i could never hold one team doctor up more than another one. they were all very,very good.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 2:52pm

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sorry to have done anything like trying to be polite and answering other's questions. geesh...

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My apologies. When ivillage went to this new format, I thought i remembered that number being bandied about. Oops, guess i made a mistake (although mine didn't seem to show up till somewhere around 100???)...

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I've been around about 9 years or so.

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yup. that will remind me not to innocently and kindly answer a question only to have my head chopped off, LOL!!!!!!!!

Of course, one could say the same to you too as to why and how you fill up YOUR time.

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I don't teach my 6th grade science classes on Saturday. Public school seems to only run from M-F, 8-2:30.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 3:04pm

No, teachers do not raise the children in their care. No, dcp do not raise the children in their care. No, preschool teachers do not raise the children in their care. No, nannies and au pairs do not raise the children in their care.

Do they "help"? sure, but that help is generally limited to a few hours per day taking care of their basic food & safety needs and allowing a place for children to play.

Teachers educate not raise.

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believe me, I truly value those dcps, preschool teachers and nannies that have "helped" me along the way. However, NONE of them, EVER has "raised" my children. That notion, yet again, is beyond stupid.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 3:07pm

And how many of those married teenagers were married before "the rabbit died"? Just because our society has moved away from forcing children to get married to make a pregnancy seem less scandalous doesnt mean the problem is much different.

Do you honestly think its right or healthy for the vast majority of 16 year olds to get married? I said this in a previous post to someone else, but if I had a teenage daughter who got pregnant at 16, 17, 18, 19, I would MUCH prefer she stay single, remain at home where her family could help her and she could focus on her education and future. I wouldnt even allow a 16 year old to get married.

As for getting married at 13. Um...thats child molestation and disgusting. I wont address it further.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 3:10pm

just an FYI -- I've always been a wohm and have considered myself their "fulltime care provider". I'm their mother -- there's really no other way around that unless I gave them up for adoption.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 3:17pm

DH has been home for four days straight. He's done some work from home, but spent a lot more time sledding and hanging out w/the kiddo. Of course there are down times and slow times that are taken advantage of. We're talking about people, not machines.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 3:21pm
Actually, it's HER choice. My ob/gyn is a woman. And while it is her choice, I'm grateful for it b/c it means that the doctor who has guided me through the pregnancy will actually be the one to deliver my baby, instead of some random doctor in the practice. And that's important to me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 3:22pm

WAIT A MINUTE.

Are you SERIOUSLY saying that an African American should only be offended by the n word if he/she thought he/she really was at least slightly a n word?

Oh my god. I cant believe someone would actually post that on a message board. Im not African American and Im offended!!! What a truly disgusting thing to say.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 3:26pm

Nope. I do not rotate doctors. When I have an ob appt, I see my ob. The only time I've ever seen one of the partners is when I made a trip to the ER while pregnant and my ob was out of town, and when I had a case of mastitis after the birth of DS. I saw her nurse practitioner for the mastitis b/c she could squeeze me in sooner. My best friend goes to a different doctor in the same practice and her experience mirrored mine. My ob's DIL (who is a close friend of mine) sees another doctor in the practice--same thing. The only time I would see a partner is if my dr is out of town. Otherwise, they all see their own patients and deliver their own babies.

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