Working for Lifestyle/Extras

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Working for Lifestyle/Extras
3621
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am

Hi Ladies :)

This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.

Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.

Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.

I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?

Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?

So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?

Thanks all :)

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 4:25pm
I know a lot of people like that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 4:26pm
Oh even at 3-4 months old, my son LOVED (still does) watching the other kids, and he plays with the other baby.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 4:26pm
That is of course assuming that this intensive teaching is to his benefit either now or in any lasting way. As an old BTDT mother, my general feeling is that this sort of thing is not a reason to SAH. I am in no way convinced that it benefits the child.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 4:33pm

<.

I've never considered it as "giving up time" with my children. I always saw it as them gaining something in their dc situations IN ADDITION to having me as their mom. There is nothing to "regain" because that time is not "lost". It would only be "lost" if I never saw them or gave them up for adoption.

<>

depends on how long you've been out, how much coursework needs to be done, what certification rules have changed. Also, if you've stayed out, you've lost the seniority and yearly pay increases along the way.

<>

again, that depends more on how long you've been out and what the reentry requirements are.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 4:38pm

<>

yup. my kids always enjoyed being around others. when they were at dc, the older kids paid lots of attention to them. they loved watching others.

<>

can you imagine that other kids enjoy that time so much that they may NOT be ready for us to retrieve them? LOL! I used to chuckle on the days that I'd get to the dc or preschool and my kids would not want to leave -- wanted to stay and play more.

<>

just because they don't play with each other doesn't mean that they don't watch each other and the adults. Maybe my kids were unusual, but they always interacted with others even as young babies. Parallel play is also important.

carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2005
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 4:50pm

I'm pretty sure my ob/gyn didn't get to see his kids at all that Friday I delivered my baby. As a first-time mother, I felt more comfortable having him do the delivery than someone I didn't know, and I appreciate the fact that he was considerate of my wishes. IMO to do a good job in certain fields it is difficult if not impossible to work 8 to 5 M-F.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 4:57pm

and what if I told you that my son could do similar stuff at that age? (i can't remember exactly as he's 15 now, LOL!) all while i was a wohm.....things that make you go hmmm....

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2005
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 5:02pm

Consider it what you will, but IMO it's impossible to FTWOH and also FT care for your children, unless you WOH in a day care and your children are with you in your day care room, or other some such arrangement. I would buy "primary caregiver" or "custodial parent" for a FTWOHP, but it seems to me that a "fulltime care provider" would, in fact, care for his/her children fulltime, difficult to do while one is teaching 6th grade science class.

edited to add: once children are in school I don't think even SAHP's are fulltime care providers.




Edited 12/3/2006 5:06 pm ET by jungle_girl
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2005
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 5:05pm

perhaps your son is smarter than mine, and mine needed a little extra attention to achieve the same level. Do you think all your students do as well in a class of 30 as if you could focus on only 20? Obviously some students will learn whether there are 30 or 60 kids in a class, but there are others who benefit from more hands on instruction.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 5:07pm
So people that work long hours dont raise their children?

Pages