Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids
1070
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 3:13pm

In reading the other posts here, I feel the need to give my opinion (my mother-in-law's phrase - opinions are like rear-ends -- everyone has one and some stink worse than others - LOL!).

I'm an accountant. Granted, my job isn't physically demanding, but at times it is mentally challenging. There are days that I go home and I don't want to cook supper - I'd rather get a bucket of chicken or grab the family to go to the Mexican restaurant down the road to eat. I work 40 hours a week.

As for family's suffering because I work, I think it's give-and-take. Because of my income, we can afford things we wouldn't otherwise be able to have. My kids are able to take piano lessons (yes, they want to - it was their idea), one is in the band at school (who knew a clarinet costs $1,300???) and plays softball and basketball, her little brother is playing football (again, I had to fork out $65 up front - there's no telling how much more I'll have to fork out once practices start!). We drive a minivan with an entertainment system, we get to go to the beach for a week each year. My kids are flying to Dallas next week (we live in Alabama) to visit my sister for the next week. Plane tickets are expensive. All of these things we couldn't do without my income. Since both of my kids are school age, the only time I don't see them that I would if I were a SAHM is 1 1/2 hours in the afternoon during the schoolyear and during the day in the summers. I take them to school - I pick them up at 4:30.

The sacrifices we make because I work - my house isn't as clean as I would like for it to be, my house is a zoo every morning, I have a MOUNTAIN of laundry to do on Saturday, I have to wait for vacation days or holidays to repaint bedrooms or rearrange furniture.

My sister and 4 sisters-in-law all have the luxury (yes, LUXURY) of not having to work. I can't call them before 9 am because most times they aren't out of the bed yet. They call me all day long while I'm at work - "whatcha doin'?" Duh, I'm working!! One of them is on the computer on and off all day long - I know cause I'm sitting here in front of mine and I can see when she logs on and off the messenger program. They wonder why I don't have time to hit this sale or that one. Well, after working all day, shlepping the kids to 14 different activities, I really would rather not go shopping.

One other thing I don't think SAHMs realize - we working mothers aren't shirking our household responsibilities. I still have the house sitting there, waiting for me to come home to clean it. Dinner still has to get to the table. Laundry still has to be washed. Kids still have to be attended to.

I think to each his own - I was a SAHM while my 2 were babies - I couldn't imagine another woman receiving those yummy baby kisses or catching those toddler falls. But that was my preference -- as tired as I am each evening, I can't imagine coming home and taking care of a baby!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 3:34pm
I dont have the stats. But I believe that Durham ranked very high on the most dangerous cities in the United States.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 3:35pm
Call it what you like. You still didn't tell me how it is a necessity. If you think it is ridiculous let it go.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 3:36pm
So, your DH doesn't work in an area that's *that* dangerous.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 3:36pm
What in the world do you do for fun in Durham?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 3:36pm

Maybe it all depends on how you define necessity. Here is what the dictionary says:

ne·ces·si·ty ( P ) Pronunciation Key (n-ss-t)
n. pl. ne·ces·si·ties

The condition or quality of being necessary.
Something necessary: The necessities of life include food, clothing, and shelter.

Something dictated by invariable physical laws.
The force exerted by circumstance.
The state or fact of being in need.
Pressing or urgent need, especially that arising from poverty.

To me it means food, clothing and shelter. If you did not have it, you would die. So saving for college does not fit in this category (or at least the way I interpret the definition of necessity makes it so that I cannot include college savings as a necesitty). But it is a big PRIORITY for us.

Maybe some interpret the definition of necessity differently and this is where all the mix up is coming from??

josee




Edited 7/8/2006 3:38 pm ET by noah2004
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 3:37pm

I was irritated at first, but then I keep telling myself that I'm posting with someone who stated categorically that "No one ever dies because they don't have health insurance", one of the more frighteningly fact-ignorant statements I've seen on here in a while.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 3:37pm
They won't. We are paying for college. Did I ever say we weren't?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 3:38pm

http://www.governmentguide.com/community_and_home/morganmostdangerouscities.adp

Take a look at this list. NC is more dangerous than NY.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 3:39pm
No where he works is very bad. It is the worst district in the city. How did you get that it wasn't that dangerous? Like I have said before he gets the most experienced beat officers due to the high calls, and dangerous surroundings. He has 12 officers on his schedule and there are 3 Sgt in that district at all times. The other districts have 6 officers to each Sgt.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 3:39pm

I used to feel that way...but I think it depends on the person. I had a sorority sister whose dad paid for it and provided a $350 a month allowance to boot (which was about how much I lived on for the semester), and I don't think she appreciated the experience any less than I did. She worked her butt off for good grades...

I've seen too many kids work so many hours that their grades suffer, I don't want that for my kid.

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