Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids
1070
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 3:13pm

In reading the other posts here, I feel the need to give my opinion (my mother-in-law's phrase - opinions are like rear-ends -- everyone has one and some stink worse than others - LOL!).

I'm an accountant. Granted, my job isn't physically demanding, but at times it is mentally challenging. There are days that I go home and I don't want to cook supper - I'd rather get a bucket of chicken or grab the family to go to the Mexican restaurant down the road to eat. I work 40 hours a week.

As for family's suffering because I work, I think it's give-and-take. Because of my income, we can afford things we wouldn't otherwise be able to have. My kids are able to take piano lessons (yes, they want to - it was their idea), one is in the band at school (who knew a clarinet costs $1,300???) and plays softball and basketball, her little brother is playing football (again, I had to fork out $65 up front - there's no telling how much more I'll have to fork out once practices start!). We drive a minivan with an entertainment system, we get to go to the beach for a week each year. My kids are flying to Dallas next week (we live in Alabama) to visit my sister for the next week. Plane tickets are expensive. All of these things we couldn't do without my income. Since both of my kids are school age, the only time I don't see them that I would if I were a SAHM is 1 1/2 hours in the afternoon during the schoolyear and during the day in the summers. I take them to school - I pick them up at 4:30.

The sacrifices we make because I work - my house isn't as clean as I would like for it to be, my house is a zoo every morning, I have a MOUNTAIN of laundry to do on Saturday, I have to wait for vacation days or holidays to repaint bedrooms or rearrange furniture.

My sister and 4 sisters-in-law all have the luxury (yes, LUXURY) of not having to work. I can't call them before 9 am because most times they aren't out of the bed yet. They call me all day long while I'm at work - "whatcha doin'?" Duh, I'm working!! One of them is on the computer on and off all day long - I know cause I'm sitting here in front of mine and I can see when she logs on and off the messenger program. They wonder why I don't have time to hit this sale or that one. Well, after working all day, shlepping the kids to 14 different activities, I really would rather not go shopping.

One other thing I don't think SAHMs realize - we working mothers aren't shirking our household responsibilities. I still have the house sitting there, waiting for me to come home to clean it. Dinner still has to get to the table. Laundry still has to be washed. Kids still have to be attended to.

I think to each his own - I was a SAHM while my 2 were babies - I couldn't imagine another woman receiving those yummy baby kisses or catching those toddler falls. But that was my preference -- as tired as I am each evening, I can't imagine coming home and taking care of a baby!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 3:40pm

So you're admitting that necessities can differ from family to family? That's really been my only point all along.

I thought you weren't telling her that.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 3:41pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 3:42pm
So then you don't work in an area that is that dangerous? Like I said...you should know...you are in NY and you are a cop. I am sure that you are aware of the horrible dangers that I95 in NC have. Your drug dealers and Florida dealers love to meet half way. Intradiction here is unreal.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 3:44pm

Even that definition could, theoretically, be argued. Nudists would say that clothing is NOT a necessity (depending on the climate where one lives). Certainly for thousands of generations, early human ancestors did just fine without clothing and probably shelter as well. Food is probably the only REAL necessity.

Anyway, it doesn't matter. I'm just going to drop it as it is getting ridiculous.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 3:45pm
it is a necessity for those of us who want our children to have a better life. lets see, my husbands son-in law just graduated from a trade school, they wouldnt admit him until he had an associates degree, dental schools, i was under the assumption that dentists had bachelors degrees before going to dental school. nursing, i know from my two neighbors who are nurses that to accomplish anything but the lower levels of nursing requires a degree beyond just nursing school. which is why both of them are working on there degrees so they are not left behind in the field they have worked in for many years. so, as you can see, at least around here, a degree is becoming more and more necessary and my youngest is still 3 years away from starting kindergarten, who can even imagine what it will be like when he is making career decisions. but it is not something i am willing to leave to chance for him so saving for his future education is a necessity for us. and i dont see why you find that so hard to understand.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 3:46pm

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Um, if that's true, why is your NY link to the NYPD? Isn't Albany the capital of NY?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 3:47pm
but that college education is what is going to allow my children to provide for themselves so that makes it necessary
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 3:50pm

No a nurse with a 2 year degree in nursing can be a nurse manager. My step mother is a nurse manager in a large hospital in NC. She makes about $80K a year. Staff nurses here can make more than that with shift differential, and weekends.

Again like I said....saving for college is a huge priority for your family, just as it is for ours. However I am not the only one here who has said that it isn't a necessity.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 3:50pm
I'd be glad to drop it. BTW, are you planning on retracting your false assertion that no one ever dies because they don't have health insurance, or would you like to argue that one too?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 3:50pm
I meant the large cities. My bad.

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