Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids
1070
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 3:13pm

In reading the other posts here, I feel the need to give my opinion (my mother-in-law's phrase - opinions are like rear-ends -- everyone has one and some stink worse than others - LOL!).

I'm an accountant. Granted, my job isn't physically demanding, but at times it is mentally challenging. There are days that I go home and I don't want to cook supper - I'd rather get a bucket of chicken or grab the family to go to the Mexican restaurant down the road to eat. I work 40 hours a week.

As for family's suffering because I work, I think it's give-and-take. Because of my income, we can afford things we wouldn't otherwise be able to have. My kids are able to take piano lessons (yes, they want to - it was their idea), one is in the band at school (who knew a clarinet costs $1,300???) and plays softball and basketball, her little brother is playing football (again, I had to fork out $65 up front - there's no telling how much more I'll have to fork out once practices start!). We drive a minivan with an entertainment system, we get to go to the beach for a week each year. My kids are flying to Dallas next week (we live in Alabama) to visit my sister for the next week. Plane tickets are expensive. All of these things we couldn't do without my income. Since both of my kids are school age, the only time I don't see them that I would if I were a SAHM is 1 1/2 hours in the afternoon during the schoolyear and during the day in the summers. I take them to school - I pick them up at 4:30.

The sacrifices we make because I work - my house isn't as clean as I would like for it to be, my house is a zoo every morning, I have a MOUNTAIN of laundry to do on Saturday, I have to wait for vacation days or holidays to repaint bedrooms or rearrange furniture.

My sister and 4 sisters-in-law all have the luxury (yes, LUXURY) of not having to work. I can't call them before 9 am because most times they aren't out of the bed yet. They call me all day long while I'm at work - "whatcha doin'?" Duh, I'm working!! One of them is on the computer on and off all day long - I know cause I'm sitting here in front of mine and I can see when she logs on and off the messenger program. They wonder why I don't have time to hit this sale or that one. Well, after working all day, shlepping the kids to 14 different activities, I really would rather not go shopping.

One other thing I don't think SAHMs realize - we working mothers aren't shirking our household responsibilities. I still have the house sitting there, waiting for me to come home to clean it. Dinner still has to get to the table. Laundry still has to be washed. Kids still have to be attended to.

I think to each his own - I was a SAHM while my 2 were babies - I couldn't imagine another woman receiving those yummy baby kisses or catching those toddler falls. But that was my preference -- as tired as I am each evening, I can't imagine coming home and taking care of a baby!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 3:58pm

You don't need a college education to provide for yourself. I agree it makes it easier. But you dont need it. I know many people who did not go to college (one of them owned the company I used to work for...he is a multi-millionaire) and did fine.

College helps - but isn't in my opinion necessary.

I am all for college education. I have post-graduate. I am a huge advocate of getting educated. But is it absolutely necessary to survival? - not in my opinion.

Josee

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 3:59pm

***And North Carolinians get no cut of the pie, huh? LOL! One of the sure signs of a car stop that will lead to an arrest here are North Carolina plates."***

"Why is that?"

Drugs in the vehicle.

***Intradiction??**

***Intradiction??***

"You don't know what that is? Highway patrol run interdiction here on I95 24/7."

So, you spelled the word wrong? I'm not a Highway Patrol cop. We have special units for that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 4:01pm

Please quote any post of mine claiming your SIL invested $13K/year. My original post clearly notes that the lower amount for a longer time was plugged in for the basis of comparison. It's an arbitrary example which clearly demonstrates that your SIL's attempt now to play catch up investing and overcome any disadvantages from not investing her entire adult life, was futile.

And I proved it conclusively.

Your SIL can't regain the years she didn't invest. Nothing she does now will change that. Choosing to piss away 10 to 20 years of investing life comes at a cost. It's a tradeoff. Some people are cool with that. Maybe your SIL is. But she isn't overcoming that previous lack. She can't. Compound interest precludes it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 4:02pm

"Still doesn't change the fact that college savings are still just a priority."

ROFLMAO!

You know, I say I'm willing to drop it but you just can't help yourself, can you? A little self-control can be a good thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 4:02pm

"I doubt she hangs out in the neighborhoods she works in either."

No, I don't hang out in the neighborhood I work in. I'd probably be "Doled" the minute I got back to work!

But, I did grow up in a very frightening neighborhood in the city.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 4:02pm
in my opinion by the time my children are ready to begin working it will be a necessity - of course i am looking out 15-20 years from now
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 4:04pm
check back thru the posts, i am not the only one on this board who has said saving for college is a necessity.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 4:12pm

I see your point, but disagree.

Anyways, you know something interesting? I live in Calgary and right now we are in big time oil and gas "boom town". Most of the "rich" people in my neighbourhood have little or no education. They work out in the oil patch. They make tons of money. Or they do construction and make a killing.

Here we are, dh and I, super-well educated and we are poor in comparison to them!!

(And lots of kids are choosing not to go to university because they can just go out and get a high paying job right out of highschool.)

Not saying this is the right thing, I think college (or for us in canada university) is a very valuable tool. Josee

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 4:12pm
i will tell you why it is a necessity to me, again, i belief and nothing you can say will change my opinion, that in 15-20 years from now when my kids are ready to go to work a college education will be necessary for them to be able to provide for themselves and their families - and because i believe that it is a necessity for my family to ensure that they have that education by saving for their college education. heck, i am even saving for my oldests college and she will probably be getting a full ride scholarship or enough partial scholarships that she wont ever have to touch what i have saved - but i will not risk her future by not having the money should she need it..
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 4:17pm
but that is not the economy we are living in. here we have people with advanced degrees taking jobs that in reality dont require them. my father used to work in the oil fields and while the pay is good it really isnt something i hope my kids end up doing. and around here construction doesnt pay alot unless you own the company. around here any job that you can get with just a high school diploma is either low paying or dangerous(the lime pits)
Jennie

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