Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids
1070
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 3:13pm

In reading the other posts here, I feel the need to give my opinion (my mother-in-law's phrase - opinions are like rear-ends -- everyone has one and some stink worse than others - LOL!).

I'm an accountant. Granted, my job isn't physically demanding, but at times it is mentally challenging. There are days that I go home and I don't want to cook supper - I'd rather get a bucket of chicken or grab the family to go to the Mexican restaurant down the road to eat. I work 40 hours a week.

As for family's suffering because I work, I think it's give-and-take. Because of my income, we can afford things we wouldn't otherwise be able to have. My kids are able to take piano lessons (yes, they want to - it was their idea), one is in the band at school (who knew a clarinet costs $1,300???) and plays softball and basketball, her little brother is playing football (again, I had to fork out $65 up front - there's no telling how much more I'll have to fork out once practices start!). We drive a minivan with an entertainment system, we get to go to the beach for a week each year. My kids are flying to Dallas next week (we live in Alabama) to visit my sister for the next week. Plane tickets are expensive. All of these things we couldn't do without my income. Since both of my kids are school age, the only time I don't see them that I would if I were a SAHM is 1 1/2 hours in the afternoon during the schoolyear and during the day in the summers. I take them to school - I pick them up at 4:30.

The sacrifices we make because I work - my house isn't as clean as I would like for it to be, my house is a zoo every morning, I have a MOUNTAIN of laundry to do on Saturday, I have to wait for vacation days or holidays to repaint bedrooms or rearrange furniture.

My sister and 4 sisters-in-law all have the luxury (yes, LUXURY) of not having to work. I can't call them before 9 am because most times they aren't out of the bed yet. They call me all day long while I'm at work - "whatcha doin'?" Duh, I'm working!! One of them is on the computer on and off all day long - I know cause I'm sitting here in front of mine and I can see when she logs on and off the messenger program. They wonder why I don't have time to hit this sale or that one. Well, after working all day, shlepping the kids to 14 different activities, I really would rather not go shopping.

One other thing I don't think SAHMs realize - we working mothers aren't shirking our household responsibilities. I still have the house sitting there, waiting for me to come home to clean it. Dinner still has to get to the table. Laundry still has to be washed. Kids still have to be attended to.

I think to each his own - I was a SAHM while my 2 were babies - I couldn't imagine another woman receiving those yummy baby kisses or catching those toddler falls. But that was my preference -- as tired as I am each evening, I can't imagine coming home and taking care of a baby!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 4:20pm

Not according to the infoplease website. It didn't even make the top 25 most dangerous cities. (Neither did NYC).

And while Cary, NC did make the top 10 safest cities (at #10), no fewer than 4 NY cities made the safest list:
2. Clarkstown
3. Amherst
11. Colonie
21. Greece

http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0921299.html

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 4:25pm

But - it does provide an income (even if lower in some places then others) and that income is used to support yourself. So you don't HAVE to have the college to get by (and even do well in life).

"here we have people with advanced degrees taking jobs that in reality dont require them"

Yes, I have seen that too.

So where does it end? You will need a PhD to work at McDonalds or do construction? Do you really think it will ever get that bad? I don't. Or at least I hope not.

I can't tell what will happen in the future. But for now I believe you can survive, and sometimes even do very well, without the degree. That piece of paper is not necessary (although it sure does help and is a nice thing to have in many cases).

Josee

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 5:15pm

You said it yourself. The insurance saved her life like this:

<> W/o the insurance, she wouldn't have gotten the meds and died.

DUH.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 5:23pm

Only if you buy two new cars at once, and I don't know ANY families who do that.

Everyone I know drives their car for a few years before buying a new one. Except my FIL who drives an obscene amt of miles (60-70K) a year. He gets a new car every year. But he's not normal.

Avatar for mom2danjam
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 5:24pm

That is why I said *some*, not *all*.

But, in my experience (might be different with you), the kids who worked even just a few hours a week and did not have everything handed to them, seemed to do better.

No one said they would have to work fulltime and go to school part time. When I was in college, I worked 15-20 hrs a week. I also made good grades, so it CAN be done.

To each his/her own, though. I plan to help my boys go to college, but I also feel they can work a few hours a week at a job, too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 5:31pm

But you don't know that they owner didn't pay cash for the thing, which means they aren't in debt for 50K.

My FIL buys a brand new loaded Ford F150 every single year. He pays cash for it, so while someone looking at him might think he's in debt up to here b/c of all the new cars, he's actually paying cash.

My grandparents paid cash for every car they ever bought, including grandpa's Caddy. Some people don't believe in car payments.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 5:33pm
All the RNs I know went a four year college to get their degree. I believe community colleges are for LPNs, who don't make nearly as much as RNs.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 5:35pm
But hey--it's cheaper to live there, right? ROTFLMAO...
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 5:37pm
Her drug dealers? That's offensive to me and I'm half the continental US away from both of you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 5:39pm

Every dentist I know has an undergraduate degree. Dentistry school is like medical school for doctors. Hence the whole Dr. title when they finish. DDS = Doctor of Dentistry Science.

Ditto pharmacists, BTW. The amt of schooling they undergo is rigorous.

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