Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids
1070
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 3:13pm

In reading the other posts here, I feel the need to give my opinion (my mother-in-law's phrase - opinions are like rear-ends -- everyone has one and some stink worse than others - LOL!).

I'm an accountant. Granted, my job isn't physically demanding, but at times it is mentally challenging. There are days that I go home and I don't want to cook supper - I'd rather get a bucket of chicken or grab the family to go to the Mexican restaurant down the road to eat. I work 40 hours a week.

As for family's suffering because I work, I think it's give-and-take. Because of my income, we can afford things we wouldn't otherwise be able to have. My kids are able to take piano lessons (yes, they want to - it was their idea), one is in the band at school (who knew a clarinet costs $1,300???) and plays softball and basketball, her little brother is playing football (again, I had to fork out $65 up front - there's no telling how much more I'll have to fork out once practices start!). We drive a minivan with an entertainment system, we get to go to the beach for a week each year. My kids are flying to Dallas next week (we live in Alabama) to visit my sister for the next week. Plane tickets are expensive. All of these things we couldn't do without my income. Since both of my kids are school age, the only time I don't see them that I would if I were a SAHM is 1 1/2 hours in the afternoon during the schoolyear and during the day in the summers. I take them to school - I pick them up at 4:30.

The sacrifices we make because I work - my house isn't as clean as I would like for it to be, my house is a zoo every morning, I have a MOUNTAIN of laundry to do on Saturday, I have to wait for vacation days or holidays to repaint bedrooms or rearrange furniture.

My sister and 4 sisters-in-law all have the luxury (yes, LUXURY) of not having to work. I can't call them before 9 am because most times they aren't out of the bed yet. They call me all day long while I'm at work - "whatcha doin'?" Duh, I'm working!! One of them is on the computer on and off all day long - I know cause I'm sitting here in front of mine and I can see when she logs on and off the messenger program. They wonder why I don't have time to hit this sale or that one. Well, after working all day, shlepping the kids to 14 different activities, I really would rather not go shopping.

One other thing I don't think SAHMs realize - we working mothers aren't shirking our household responsibilities. I still have the house sitting there, waiting for me to come home to clean it. Dinner still has to get to the table. Laundry still has to be washed. Kids still have to be attended to.

I think to each his own - I was a SAHM while my 2 were babies - I couldn't imagine another woman receiving those yummy baby kisses or catching those toddler falls. But that was my preference -- as tired as I am each evening, I can't imagine coming home and taking care of a baby!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 6:50pm
I asked you to. You didn't.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 6:50pm
Well, LPN's can attend community colleges, can't they?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 6:53pm

That's fine....but it's not my point. Necessities aren't the same from family to family. That's all I'm saying.

I would never go so far as to say that saving for college is a necessity for all families. I couldn't, as I don't even contribute toward college savings for my son, although his grandmother does. But by the same token I can't say that college savings is NOT necessary for all families. I only get to make that determination for my own.

As far as CPS is concerned, I do think they may take issue with the food, air and water theory of necessity that's floating around here. ;-)




Edited 7/8/2006 6:55 pm ET by lauren1063

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2006
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 6:53pm
I don't know the stats of drug dealers from NC, if that's what you are asking.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 6:58pm
Even if it is cheaper, it won't be for very long after people start moving there in droves as they are doing. 2 kids in my dd's class are moving there this summer alone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 7:00pm
AND..if the dad or mom in the one income family loses their job, there salary is $0. I think the 2 income family would be doing a little bit better with 1 income for a little while as I am sure the person who lost their job would be going for another one right away if they know they can't live on that one income.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 7:01pm
Very true but the more people, the higher the prices will go. I am sure the people down there are not dumb and will realize that they will need to increase prices as time goes by.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 7:03pm

Will someone please show me where I said that parents are obligated to provide college savings for their children? I have *never* said they were. I just said that for some people it's a necessity and for some it isn't, and we can't tell each other which it's supposed to be. It depends on the family.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 7:05pm

Yes it would be different and tight but we would be able to pay our major bills and would not lose our house or not eat. We would definately go and get another job though to pay the rest of the bills we have.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 7:23pm
If they would have moved like they did though AND she worked, she would have been able to bank her check since then and not get into the debt? No??

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