Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids
1070
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 3:13pm

In reading the other posts here, I feel the need to give my opinion (my mother-in-law's phrase - opinions are like rear-ends -- everyone has one and some stink worse than others - LOL!).

I'm an accountant. Granted, my job isn't physically demanding, but at times it is mentally challenging. There are days that I go home and I don't want to cook supper - I'd rather get a bucket of chicken or grab the family to go to the Mexican restaurant down the road to eat. I work 40 hours a week.

As for family's suffering because I work, I think it's give-and-take. Because of my income, we can afford things we wouldn't otherwise be able to have. My kids are able to take piano lessons (yes, they want to - it was their idea), one is in the band at school (who knew a clarinet costs $1,300???) and plays softball and basketball, her little brother is playing football (again, I had to fork out $65 up front - there's no telling how much more I'll have to fork out once practices start!). We drive a minivan with an entertainment system, we get to go to the beach for a week each year. My kids are flying to Dallas next week (we live in Alabama) to visit my sister for the next week. Plane tickets are expensive. All of these things we couldn't do without my income. Since both of my kids are school age, the only time I don't see them that I would if I were a SAHM is 1 1/2 hours in the afternoon during the schoolyear and during the day in the summers. I take them to school - I pick them up at 4:30.

The sacrifices we make because I work - my house isn't as clean as I would like for it to be, my house is a zoo every morning, I have a MOUNTAIN of laundry to do on Saturday, I have to wait for vacation days or holidays to repaint bedrooms or rearrange furniture.

My sister and 4 sisters-in-law all have the luxury (yes, LUXURY) of not having to work. I can't call them before 9 am because most times they aren't out of the bed yet. They call me all day long while I'm at work - "whatcha doin'?" Duh, I'm working!! One of them is on the computer on and off all day long - I know cause I'm sitting here in front of mine and I can see when she logs on and off the messenger program. They wonder why I don't have time to hit this sale or that one. Well, after working all day, shlepping the kids to 14 different activities, I really would rather not go shopping.

One other thing I don't think SAHMs realize - we working mothers aren't shirking our household responsibilities. I still have the house sitting there, waiting for me to come home to clean it. Dinner still has to get to the table. Laundry still has to be washed. Kids still have to be attended to.

I think to each his own - I was a SAHM while my 2 were babies - I couldn't imagine another woman receiving those yummy baby kisses or catching those toddler falls. But that was my preference -- as tired as I am each evening, I can't imagine coming home and taking care of a baby!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 1:45am
actually this is a great debate board - but what it isnt is a copwife35 says it is so it is board
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 2:00am
i cant tell you what will happen in the future either, but i can look at trends and watch what is going on with the economy and deduce that in 15-20 years a college degree is going to be equal to todays high school diploma. i want my children to have choices as adults and those choices are going to be available with a college degree. granted, these are just my opinions but that is why college savings is a necessity for my family. plus, as much as i love my kids at some point i want them to move out and that will only come with financial viability so my job is to make sure they have every opportunity to achieve that. as to mcdonalds, did you know that in some places how high up in their company you can go depends on having that college degree. as to construction, while i cant speak about canada as i have never been there, here more and more construction jobs are being done by illegal aliens or immigrants willing to work for cheaper and cheaper wages, the days of making a good living that will support a family in construction are fading fast, unless you own the company.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 2:59am
My entire point is that SAH is not a luxury across the board.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 4:15am
Actually, it's neither. To be an RN requires passing the licensing exam. An A.S.N. *or* a B.S.N will prepare a candidate for the exam. However, RNs with a 4 year degree are more employable, particularly in areas of research, have better starting salaries and in general are at an advantage, career-wise, over RNs with a 2 year associate's degree.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 4:29am

I've heard the same thing about having a baby translating into needing a minivan or SUV and it always cracks me up. I got a Mazda 323 when I was 21 and still had that car 8 years later when ds was born. It survived another 7 years with an extra kid added to the mix. We finally bought a new car when it was about 14 years old, but only because the poor car was finally clearly on its last legs. It crashed and burned at 15.

We ended up with a station wagon because we do most of our own house repairs and needed something that was good for hauling. Still no minivan or SUV :-). I have to admit, though, that AWD would be nice given where we live.

BTW, I forgot to say...thanks for the picture of you and Nicholas! You guys look wonderful and so relaxed! It's great to put faces to names :-).

Avatar for mom2danjam
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 7:54am
That was rude and uncalled for. Everyone makes mistakes.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 8:28am
You do realize that many seniors replace that missing house payment with prescription bills, right? While some aspects of living go down, others go up. If you live long enough, you're likely to need to hire help or live somewhere where help is available. You don't count on living on less when you retire, you count on living on more. If you go into assisted living and have several hundred dollars worth of prescriptions per month that 100k won't last long.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 8:34am

Unfortunately, the way things are set up, with it you have favoritism one way and without it, you have favoritism the other. Accoding to my prof, had it not been for affirmative action, I would not have been admitted to college. I kind of had the wrong everything but affirmative action results in them taking candidates from all walks not just the ones they want so I got in. The, unfortunate, flip side is that someone more qualified may not have. Which is why there are many working to abolish affirmative action.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 9:57am
That is the entire point. They would NOT have moved.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 9:58am
You will have to show me where I said not having medical insurance is smart. I never said that. I said that having medical insurance should be a priority. A priority over saving for college in my opinion.

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