Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids
1070
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 3:13pm

In reading the other posts here, I feel the need to give my opinion (my mother-in-law's phrase - opinions are like rear-ends -- everyone has one and some stink worse than others - LOL!).

I'm an accountant. Granted, my job isn't physically demanding, but at times it is mentally challenging. There are days that I go home and I don't want to cook supper - I'd rather get a bucket of chicken or grab the family to go to the Mexican restaurant down the road to eat. I work 40 hours a week.

As for family's suffering because I work, I think it's give-and-take. Because of my income, we can afford things we wouldn't otherwise be able to have. My kids are able to take piano lessons (yes, they want to - it was their idea), one is in the band at school (who knew a clarinet costs $1,300???) and plays softball and basketball, her little brother is playing football (again, I had to fork out $65 up front - there's no telling how much more I'll have to fork out once practices start!). We drive a minivan with an entertainment system, we get to go to the beach for a week each year. My kids are flying to Dallas next week (we live in Alabama) to visit my sister for the next week. Plane tickets are expensive. All of these things we couldn't do without my income. Since both of my kids are school age, the only time I don't see them that I would if I were a SAHM is 1 1/2 hours in the afternoon during the schoolyear and during the day in the summers. I take them to school - I pick them up at 4:30.

The sacrifices we make because I work - my house isn't as clean as I would like for it to be, my house is a zoo every morning, I have a MOUNTAIN of laundry to do on Saturday, I have to wait for vacation days or holidays to repaint bedrooms or rearrange furniture.

My sister and 4 sisters-in-law all have the luxury (yes, LUXURY) of not having to work. I can't call them before 9 am because most times they aren't out of the bed yet. They call me all day long while I'm at work - "whatcha doin'?" Duh, I'm working!! One of them is on the computer on and off all day long - I know cause I'm sitting here in front of mine and I can see when she logs on and off the messenger program. They wonder why I don't have time to hit this sale or that one. Well, after working all day, shlepping the kids to 14 different activities, I really would rather not go shopping.

One other thing I don't think SAHMs realize - we working mothers aren't shirking our household responsibilities. I still have the house sitting there, waiting for me to come home to clean it. Dinner still has to get to the table. Laundry still has to be washed. Kids still have to be attended to.

I think to each his own - I was a SAHM while my 2 were babies - I couldn't imagine another woman receiving those yummy baby kisses or catching those toddler falls. But that was my preference -- as tired as I am each evening, I can't imagine coming home and taking care of a baby!

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Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 1:53pm

We're about to move - still looking for a house, but the very first thing we look at is school system (after that, we don't want to live on a busy road, etc.) Thankfully RI is really small and I know all the systems.

OT - you're Northern CA, right? Does that include Santa Rosa? DH considered a job out there but I know NOTHING about the area.

Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03
Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 1:55pm
LOL, check Higher Ed, which doesn't have unions.
Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03
Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 1:56pm
LOL, dragging me into this one. For me, it is something that I want to do. DH and I are split on it since he funded his own college 100%.
Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03
Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 1:58pm
Okay, now compare salaries (not only within unionized positions). I should have time later today to do the research, but from what I know from anecdotal evidence, salaries are lower there as well. I know you mentioned the police salaries, but I also checked a similar position to mine at Wake Forest, and the pay was SIGNIFICANTLY lower.
Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 2:01pm
Why are you LOL? You are right...saving for college is something you want to do. It is a priority for you. However it isn't a necessity.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 2:04pm
Oh I have no doubt. However the cost of living is quite a bit more there than it is here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 2:05pm
Do you have a hard time debating without insulting?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 2:12pm
Why not? If they were able to have her home BUT go into debt, wouldn't they have made out if they moved and she worked? They would have been able to bank her check then and not go into debt.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 2:14pm
I think it more of the "look" of a mini-van. I know this is bad, but when I see a man driving a min-van during the week by himself to work, I think "Sooooo unsexy". Certain people just do not look right in some cars and men in mini-vans without the family is just not right to me-lol!!!
Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 2:14pm

I'm laughing because this one isn't my battle, but you're losing on the other end so you dragged me into something you think we may agree on.

No, it's not a necessity AT THIS TIME for me, pretty much because we can't afford it. It also really isn't a necessity for me right now because both DH and I work in higher ed and my kids will get free college when they go. However, if that changed, it may become one.

I think you're massively off in saying insurance isn't a necessity and I'm waiting for you to admit it.

Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03

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