Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids
1070
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 3:13pm

In reading the other posts here, I feel the need to give my opinion (my mother-in-law's phrase - opinions are like rear-ends -- everyone has one and some stink worse than others - LOL!).

I'm an accountant. Granted, my job isn't physically demanding, but at times it is mentally challenging. There are days that I go home and I don't want to cook supper - I'd rather get a bucket of chicken or grab the family to go to the Mexican restaurant down the road to eat. I work 40 hours a week.

As for family's suffering because I work, I think it's give-and-take. Because of my income, we can afford things we wouldn't otherwise be able to have. My kids are able to take piano lessons (yes, they want to - it was their idea), one is in the band at school (who knew a clarinet costs $1,300???) and plays softball and basketball, her little brother is playing football (again, I had to fork out $65 up front - there's no telling how much more I'll have to fork out once practices start!). We drive a minivan with an entertainment system, we get to go to the beach for a week each year. My kids are flying to Dallas next week (we live in Alabama) to visit my sister for the next week. Plane tickets are expensive. All of these things we couldn't do without my income. Since both of my kids are school age, the only time I don't see them that I would if I were a SAHM is 1 1/2 hours in the afternoon during the schoolyear and during the day in the summers. I take them to school - I pick them up at 4:30.

The sacrifices we make because I work - my house isn't as clean as I would like for it to be, my house is a zoo every morning, I have a MOUNTAIN of laundry to do on Saturday, I have to wait for vacation days or holidays to repaint bedrooms or rearrange furniture.

My sister and 4 sisters-in-law all have the luxury (yes, LUXURY) of not having to work. I can't call them before 9 am because most times they aren't out of the bed yet. They call me all day long while I'm at work - "whatcha doin'?" Duh, I'm working!! One of them is on the computer on and off all day long - I know cause I'm sitting here in front of mine and I can see when she logs on and off the messenger program. They wonder why I don't have time to hit this sale or that one. Well, after working all day, shlepping the kids to 14 different activities, I really would rather not go shopping.

One other thing I don't think SAHMs realize - we working mothers aren't shirking our household responsibilities. I still have the house sitting there, waiting for me to come home to clean it. Dinner still has to get to the table. Laundry still has to be washed. Kids still have to be attended to.

I think to each his own - I was a SAHM while my 2 were babies - I couldn't imagine another woman receiving those yummy baby kisses or catching those toddler falls. But that was my preference -- as tired as I am each evening, I can't imagine coming home and taking care of a baby!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 5:28pm
Yes you are correct 100K won't last long after retirement. My DH grandmother is very old and lives in a nursing home in upstate NY. It is amazing what you have to do to get medicare to kick in and help pay for the things that they should be paying for. You have to be dead broke for them to step in. Sad that the elderly have to liquidate everything when they put in their fair share all those years.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 5:32pm
What collateral would a bank use to loan an 18 year old money for college- if he doesn't have the fed system to back him up?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 5:36pm

And those rules just changed. If a person gave money to their house of worship or to a child in the five years *previous* to going into the home they may not qualify for mediCAID. The liquidation is going to have to start much earlier than in the past.

If MediCARE would pay for the long term care costs than we would be paying far more than the current 1.45%- which by the way doesn't cover current costs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 5:41pm
Mom and dad co sign.
Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 5:41pm

Just not true. Like I have stated here, NC is loaded with people moving here from NY. The income bracket is not that less, and the COL here is MUCH lower than there."

You can disagree all you like. But the fact is, lower COL areas generally have much lower salaries. Most people who are wealthy who *move* to low COL areas are either at a point where they can retire, or, work in fields (like sales) where they can commute to clients and work, or, have WOH type roles with minimal time spent in their offices.

Just check out salary.com for the facts.

MM

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 5:46pm

http://nyjobsource.com/manhattansalaries.html

New York City has the highest COL in the United States (SFC is second) and the highest salaries.

So much for your 'theory.'

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 5:51pm
You might be right about certain areas. However I was just speaking about NY vs NC. I understand that NC salaries are lower but when you factor in the COL in NC vs NY that is the catch. Like I said to someone else here...The people that moved to NC from NY have all said they could move here and buy twice as much house for 1/2 the price.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 5:55pm
Like I said...I dont doubt that salaries there are higher. However the real estate and COL there is out of control. My daughter goes to school with a girl that just moved here from Long Island. Her parents sold what she called her ugly old house in a bad neighborhood and bought a beautiful $400K home in NC. They said they could have never lived in the community on LI like they live in here. Her mother works for a publisher here, and while she doesn't make as much money here as she did on LI her mortgage and her property tax are nothing. She said that her property tax bill every month there was more than her mortgage/insurance/property tax bill here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 6:29pm
WHy? If I am not going to save for college for my son, why would I co-sign a loan?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 6:32pm
Prices are rising even in NC. My parents bought about 10 years ago and the price a of similar house is more than twice as much today.

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