Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids
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| Thu, 07-06-2006 - 3:13pm |
In reading the other posts here, I feel the need to give my opinion (my mother-in-law's phrase - opinions are like rear-ends -- everyone has one and some stink worse than others - LOL!).
I'm an accountant. Granted, my job isn't physically demanding, but at times it is mentally challenging. There are days that I go home and I don't want to cook supper - I'd rather get a bucket of chicken or grab the family to go to the Mexican restaurant down the road to eat. I work 40 hours a week.
As for family's suffering because I work, I think it's give-and-take. Because of my income, we can afford things we wouldn't otherwise be able to have. My kids are able to take piano lessons (yes, they want to - it was their idea), one is in the band at school (who knew a clarinet costs $1,300???) and plays softball and basketball, her little brother is playing football (again, I had to fork out $65 up front - there's no telling how much more I'll have to fork out once practices start!). We drive a minivan with an entertainment system, we get to go to the beach for a week each year. My kids are flying to Dallas next week (we live in Alabama) to visit my sister for the next week. Plane tickets are expensive. All of these things we couldn't do without my income. Since both of my kids are school age, the only time I don't see them that I would if I were a SAHM is 1 1/2 hours in the afternoon during the schoolyear and during the day in the summers. I take them to school - I pick them up at 4:30.
The sacrifices we make because I work - my house isn't as clean as I would like for it to be, my house is a zoo every morning, I have a MOUNTAIN of laundry to do on Saturday, I have to wait for vacation days or holidays to repaint bedrooms or rearrange furniture.
My sister and 4 sisters-in-law all have the luxury (yes, LUXURY) of not having to work. I can't call them before 9 am because most times they aren't out of the bed yet. They call me all day long while I'm at work - "whatcha doin'?" Duh, I'm working!! One of them is on the computer on and off all day long - I know cause I'm sitting here in front of mine and I can see when she logs on and off the messenger program. They wonder why I don't have time to hit this sale or that one. Well, after working all day, shlepping the kids to 14 different activities, I really would rather not go shopping.
One other thing I don't think SAHMs realize - we working mothers aren't shirking our household responsibilities. I still have the house sitting there, waiting for me to come home to clean it. Dinner still has to get to the table. Laundry still has to be washed. Kids still have to be attended to.
I think to each his own - I was a SAHM while my 2 were babies - I couldn't imagine another woman receiving those yummy baby kisses or catching those toddler falls. But that was my preference -- as tired as I am each evening, I can't imagine coming home and taking care of a baby!

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The people that moved to NC from NY have all said they could move here and buy twice as much house for 1/2 the price."
Same can be said of many areas. A partner in my firm lives in Minniapolis. She has an 8,000 sft home, on 5 acres, gorgeous, that costs 1/3 of what my 3700 sft home on 1/3 acre in Northern CA costs.
But, the salaries in Northern CA (and Southern) are also much much higher than Minn. Same for your NYC and North Carolina comparison. COL is lower, salaries are lower.
She said that her property tax bill every month there was more than her mortgage/insurance/property tax bill here."
Yes but you seem to be missing the point here. Point is that most people who move from high COL places to low COL places take lower paying jobs. Those who don't, generally commute or are on the road so much that it doesnt matter. Point is there is no "free lunch." Or rarely. You want lower COL, you usually get less desirable, on some fronts, lower salaries, schools that arent as good, etc. Generally. Not always.
MM
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Don't bother. She's never going to grasp the concept that necessities differ from family to family. She thinks her definition of "necessity" is adequate for everyone.
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You're asking the wrong person about college - if you read my post I believe that college is a necessity, however saving for it is a priority to me.
On the other hand, think about how often you get sick and go to the doctor. Think about when your child gets sick and has a fever and you go to the ped. Now think about the life you would give your children if you couldn't take them to the ped. at all, rather you had to take them to the hospital for basic care.
Now think about this - my son has asthma. His nebulizer treatments and expanded appointments, etc. would have cost us over 5K last year, which we could NOT afford. THAT would be putting my child's life in jeapordy and living in poverty, which makes health care a necessity.
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