Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids
1070
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 3:13pm

In reading the other posts here, I feel the need to give my opinion (my mother-in-law's phrase - opinions are like rear-ends -- everyone has one and some stink worse than others - LOL!).

I'm an accountant. Granted, my job isn't physically demanding, but at times it is mentally challenging. There are days that I go home and I don't want to cook supper - I'd rather get a bucket of chicken or grab the family to go to the Mexican restaurant down the road to eat. I work 40 hours a week.

As for family's suffering because I work, I think it's give-and-take. Because of my income, we can afford things we wouldn't otherwise be able to have. My kids are able to take piano lessons (yes, they want to - it was their idea), one is in the band at school (who knew a clarinet costs $1,300???) and plays softball and basketball, her little brother is playing football (again, I had to fork out $65 up front - there's no telling how much more I'll have to fork out once practices start!). We drive a minivan with an entertainment system, we get to go to the beach for a week each year. My kids are flying to Dallas next week (we live in Alabama) to visit my sister for the next week. Plane tickets are expensive. All of these things we couldn't do without my income. Since both of my kids are school age, the only time I don't see them that I would if I were a SAHM is 1 1/2 hours in the afternoon during the schoolyear and during the day in the summers. I take them to school - I pick them up at 4:30.

The sacrifices we make because I work - my house isn't as clean as I would like for it to be, my house is a zoo every morning, I have a MOUNTAIN of laundry to do on Saturday, I have to wait for vacation days or holidays to repaint bedrooms or rearrange furniture.

My sister and 4 sisters-in-law all have the luxury (yes, LUXURY) of not having to work. I can't call them before 9 am because most times they aren't out of the bed yet. They call me all day long while I'm at work - "whatcha doin'?" Duh, I'm working!! One of them is on the computer on and off all day long - I know cause I'm sitting here in front of mine and I can see when she logs on and off the messenger program. They wonder why I don't have time to hit this sale or that one. Well, after working all day, shlepping the kids to 14 different activities, I really would rather not go shopping.

One other thing I don't think SAHMs realize - we working mothers aren't shirking our household responsibilities. I still have the house sitting there, waiting for me to come home to clean it. Dinner still has to get to the table. Laundry still has to be washed. Kids still have to be attended to.

I think to each his own - I was a SAHM while my 2 were babies - I couldn't imagine another woman receiving those yummy baby kisses or catching those toddler falls. But that was my preference -- as tired as I am each evening, I can't imagine coming home and taking care of a baby!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 8:14pm

And 2000 is six years ago, I said ten years. How much did properties rise before your father built?

I have a cousin and an Aunt and Uncle in the Winston Salem area and they have seen significant increases in their properties, too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 8:22pm

Like I said he is on the coast. The property values there have increased a lot and generally increase a lot faster than anywhere else. My DH mother lived in King NC which is very close to Winston, and my friend currently lives in Winston. Homes in Winston over the last 10 yrs haven't even come close to doubling.

My FIL bought in a new community on the coast. So the rise there has been significant since he bought because was in early. He also lives in the (according to the website)top selling community in NC.

OOPS...Thought I would add...I did look up some property values inside Winston. According to what I read in the early 80's that area was very hot. It wasn't uncommon to see the property values double. Since that time property values are seeing about a 20% increase. Considering that Winston isn't a large area, and not a lot to do there, I think 20% is very good.

Here is a website I thought was interesting.

http://www2.standardandpoors.com/spf/pdf/fixedincome/Boom.pdf




Edited 7/9/2006 8:36 pm ET by copwife35
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 9:19pm

"***I personally think this means you can NOT afford to stay home if you have to go in debt for it. That means everyone can stay home as long as they charge or take out loans for everyday things. That is NOT affording to live on one income, in my opinion.***

Well I never said they took out loans for everyday things. I am not sure why you think that."

They might not have done that but I have heard stories of other families that have.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 9:28pm

But now they are doing the same as LI, correct? They didn't get ahead financially if they bought a house for $400,000 in NC. How much could there house sold if they lived in a bad area? Houses in bad areas are not going for much more than $300,000. Just check out mlsli.com and look around at different areas. You will see the nicer ones from the bad. Do you know what town she lived in on LI?

I have family in FL and GA and the price of food is the same as NY. The only difference is the housing and taxes. My family in FL were paying $50/month for water while on LI I pay $7/month.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 9:31pm

I have to agree with the OT. My taxes and homeowners is only $130 less per month than my mortgage. Eventually, they will be more than my mortgage.

P.S. We bought 10 years ago though and my house has quadrupled since then!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 9:45pm
I think but I am not sure that you said you pay $10K a year in property taxes on your home. That is 5 times more than me. That is very significant.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 9:48pm
No, I pay $5,200. My sister's in-laws pay about $10,000 and my neighbors across the street pay $8,100.
If I made less money though, I wouldn't be able to afford that either but then it all equals out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2006
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 9:49pm

But they're getting paid that because so many people are hurt all the time. Lose a finger, or an arm, or an eye..it's entirely possible. Also they have to stay in hotels, if the company doesn't have camps or pay for the hotels for them.

I went through Edson and Hinton last year at the end of august, and I couldn't find ONE hotel room...in either city. I'm not joking. It was about 7pm and my mom and i wanted to stop for the night after driving straight from Victoria. We couldn't so we got into Edmonton about 12ish, and it was pouring down rain, and dark, and my mom hates driving in the dark.

Those jobs are also very labour intensive, many women are not hired to do those jobs. I know a few who drive trucks and stuff, but there aren't very many. It's not like they're sitting on their butts all day in an office either (like i do). Those are hard jobs!

Also many of them don't have the education to know how to invest properly, and end up spending all their money within a few years, because it's hard to do that line of work for the rest of your life. I know a few guys like that - one had 6 brand new cars, all paid for, but no house.




Edited 7/9/2006 9:51 pm ET by hollyberry16
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2006
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 10:01pm

If you remember the 80s...I don't, since I was only 2...but my mom has told me all about them. She is an engineer and worked in calgary...so did my dad. Anway, the oil & gas industry busted, and there were thousands of engineers without jobs. My mom lost hers, and had to move to find other work. Luckily my dad, who had a masters kept his job. Apparently there was engineers everywhere looking for work, some hadn't saved money properly, and others were forced to work at gas stations...

so anyway, even though right now it's booming, I am betting that in 10/20 years it's going to bust again...when the tar sands have been drained perhaps (i actually have no clue when this might happen).

My friend's mom has her PhD in Fine Arts, and she works in retail, in a clothing store...so needing a PhD to work at McDs, probably not, but a PhD working there - quite possible.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 10:24pm

Of course I know things can go bust and that PhDs sometimes work as taxi drivers. That wasn't the point of my post. I was just saying that a degree is not necessary for survival. That doesn't mean I don't think you should get an education and I realize that economic booms sometimes turn to busts.

Just like sometimes someone with no degree can become very successful and rich.

You can get by with no degree, but of course, I agree that it is much better to have one if you can do it.

I think this all started with the necessity thing. I don't feel a degree is a necessity for survival. But, I agree, it sure helps. My entire family is extremely well educated. And we are successful because of that education. But I also know many others that survive quite well without it. Does that mean that nothing bad will ever happen like a bust in the oil field - no. But even people with educations lose their jobs in cases like that.

(Like those engineers...they had degrees and lost their jobs and had a hard time finding an other).

Education IS A PRIORITY for me. Do I think its absolutely necessary for survival? - no.

That's all.

Josee

PS- yes I remember the 80s (yes, I am old!!!!) and I was there for the bust (I was a kid). And I know lots of people who lost their jobs (some with degrees and some without). Did they all struggle? yes. But they all pulled through.

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