Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids
1070
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 3:13pm

In reading the other posts here, I feel the need to give my opinion (my mother-in-law's phrase - opinions are like rear-ends -- everyone has one and some stink worse than others - LOL!).

I'm an accountant. Granted, my job isn't physically demanding, but at times it is mentally challenging. There are days that I go home and I don't want to cook supper - I'd rather get a bucket of chicken or grab the family to go to the Mexican restaurant down the road to eat. I work 40 hours a week.

As for family's suffering because I work, I think it's give-and-take. Because of my income, we can afford things we wouldn't otherwise be able to have. My kids are able to take piano lessons (yes, they want to - it was their idea), one is in the band at school (who knew a clarinet costs $1,300???) and plays softball and basketball, her little brother is playing football (again, I had to fork out $65 up front - there's no telling how much more I'll have to fork out once practices start!). We drive a minivan with an entertainment system, we get to go to the beach for a week each year. My kids are flying to Dallas next week (we live in Alabama) to visit my sister for the next week. Plane tickets are expensive. All of these things we couldn't do without my income. Since both of my kids are school age, the only time I don't see them that I would if I were a SAHM is 1 1/2 hours in the afternoon during the schoolyear and during the day in the summers. I take them to school - I pick them up at 4:30.

The sacrifices we make because I work - my house isn't as clean as I would like for it to be, my house is a zoo every morning, I have a MOUNTAIN of laundry to do on Saturday, I have to wait for vacation days or holidays to repaint bedrooms or rearrange furniture.

My sister and 4 sisters-in-law all have the luxury (yes, LUXURY) of not having to work. I can't call them before 9 am because most times they aren't out of the bed yet. They call me all day long while I'm at work - "whatcha doin'?" Duh, I'm working!! One of them is on the computer on and off all day long - I know cause I'm sitting here in front of mine and I can see when she logs on and off the messenger program. They wonder why I don't have time to hit this sale or that one. Well, after working all day, shlepping the kids to 14 different activities, I really would rather not go shopping.

One other thing I don't think SAHMs realize - we working mothers aren't shirking our household responsibilities. I still have the house sitting there, waiting for me to come home to clean it. Dinner still has to get to the table. Laundry still has to be washed. Kids still have to be attended to.

I think to each his own - I was a SAHM while my 2 were babies - I couldn't imagine another woman receiving those yummy baby kisses or catching those toddler falls. But that was my preference -- as tired as I am each evening, I can't imagine coming home and taking care of a baby!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 9:05am
I disagree. I think the elderly should be able to be cared for for free. I don't care about making sure the elderly get everything they need medical wise, and care wise. JMHO.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 9:08am
Just so we are clear, I wasn't doing that. The other poster says that she and her DH are both NYC cops. Yet she took a few jabs at where my DH works. Trust me...I wish I could say that my DH works in an office behind a desk. He loves what he does and that is why he was placed where he is. I respect what he does and try to think that if something ever happened to him he was where he wanted to be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 9:11am
My DH family sold his grandmothers St Louis home, and do use the money that she has. She and her DH did have a lot of money saved and she is still paying for her own care with her insurance, and her money. The only thing that my DH father and his aunt kept was a large chunk of land she owned. They got the land out of her name and into theirs.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 9:33am

Yep.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 9:38am
What state do you live in? I think it varies from state to state. i took care of my grandmother while she was in a nursing home the last year of her life. I had POA over financial and medical matters. We had to sell her house but it did not go to the nursing home. I had to pay the bill every month from an estate account. Her SS went to the nursing home. The money that was left after she died was divided according to her Will.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 9:39am
WOW. Even the townhouse I bought in 1992 had a mortgage payment of $1700 a month.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 9:40am
Not only that but if you do not give your assests or money away, you can afford a realyl nice nursing home. If you go into a nursing home flat broke, it is a state run nursing home which are barely livable. My grandmother went to a beautiful nursing home. I wa glad all her money went to that last year of her life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 9:44am
and how in the world could our society possibly pay for it?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 9:57am

So what if he loses the house? It's not like he's going to live there again.

I don't get it. Why do you think the government owes your grandparents a free ride in a nursing home? What are they going to do with their money if they don't spend it on the nursing home?

Avatar for mom2danjam
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 9:57am

I agree with you. Quite frankly, if there is going to be free or reduced healthcare, why shouldn't EVERYONE get it, not just the elderly? As it is right now, by the time I am of retirement age, there will most likely not be ANY Social Security. It was never meant that the govt. fund our entire existence. But, for some reason, there are people who think that it was.

If a person has assets, they should use them for their care, if needed. As another poster said, you cannot take it with you.

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