Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids
1070
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 3:13pm

In reading the other posts here, I feel the need to give my opinion (my mother-in-law's phrase - opinions are like rear-ends -- everyone has one and some stink worse than others - LOL!).

I'm an accountant. Granted, my job isn't physically demanding, but at times it is mentally challenging. There are days that I go home and I don't want to cook supper - I'd rather get a bucket of chicken or grab the family to go to the Mexican restaurant down the road to eat. I work 40 hours a week.

As for family's suffering because I work, I think it's give-and-take. Because of my income, we can afford things we wouldn't otherwise be able to have. My kids are able to take piano lessons (yes, they want to - it was their idea), one is in the band at school (who knew a clarinet costs $1,300???) and plays softball and basketball, her little brother is playing football (again, I had to fork out $65 up front - there's no telling how much more I'll have to fork out once practices start!). We drive a minivan with an entertainment system, we get to go to the beach for a week each year. My kids are flying to Dallas next week (we live in Alabama) to visit my sister for the next week. Plane tickets are expensive. All of these things we couldn't do without my income. Since both of my kids are school age, the only time I don't see them that I would if I were a SAHM is 1 1/2 hours in the afternoon during the schoolyear and during the day in the summers. I take them to school - I pick them up at 4:30.

The sacrifices we make because I work - my house isn't as clean as I would like for it to be, my house is a zoo every morning, I have a MOUNTAIN of laundry to do on Saturday, I have to wait for vacation days or holidays to repaint bedrooms or rearrange furniture.

My sister and 4 sisters-in-law all have the luxury (yes, LUXURY) of not having to work. I can't call them before 9 am because most times they aren't out of the bed yet. They call me all day long while I'm at work - "whatcha doin'?" Duh, I'm working!! One of them is on the computer on and off all day long - I know cause I'm sitting here in front of mine and I can see when she logs on and off the messenger program. They wonder why I don't have time to hit this sale or that one. Well, after working all day, shlepping the kids to 14 different activities, I really would rather not go shopping.

One other thing I don't think SAHMs realize - we working mothers aren't shirking our household responsibilities. I still have the house sitting there, waiting for me to come home to clean it. Dinner still has to get to the table. Laundry still has to be washed. Kids still have to be attended to.

I think to each his own - I was a SAHM while my 2 were babies - I couldn't imagine another woman receiving those yummy baby kisses or catching those toddler falls. But that was my preference -- as tired as I am each evening, I can't imagine coming home and taking care of a baby!

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Avatar for mom2danjam
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 9:59am

I also agree with this. People should not get a free ride so their famiiies can keep their assets. That is not right.

If anything, this thread has made me more serious about getting some more money into my retirement fund.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 10:00am
Yup, the ones that accept Medicaid are generally not as nice as the ones that do not. I just don't get the whole, "I want the government to pay so I don't have to..." train of thought. Don't understand it at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 10:04am

Exactly! Especially with the boomers reaching "old age" now. Social security isn't going to survive the boomers, I can't imagine offering them all free rides in nursing homes on top of a broke Social Security system.

No thanks. Give me back my tax dollars and I'll invest them for my own nursing home fund.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 10:06am

"Quite frankly, if there is going to be free or reduced healthcare, why shouldn't EVERYONE get it, not just the elderly?"

You know in some countries there is "free" healthcare for everyone (like in canada), but I actually don't consider it free. We pay taxes. Its a nice system, if you don't mind waiting in line for it! (but I should not complain, my son was preemie and spent a month in hospital and had surgeries and it cost me nothing.)

"As it is right now, by the time I am of retirement age, there will most likely not be ANY Social Security"

Thats a scary thought. I don't think most people are ready for that kind of reality. There will be a LOT of very poor elderly people if that ever happens. (better start saving!).

"If a person has assets, they should use them for their care, if needed. As another poster said, you cannot take it with you."

agree

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 10:08am
I am all for caring for the elderly.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 10:12am
You know, I'm going to be forced to become a Republican by the time I'm 50.....

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 10:14am
It's easy to say you're for it.

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Avatar for mom2danjam
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 10:14am

I realize that the healthcare isn't actually "free" and that in other countries, you do have to wait for things you wouldn't have to wait for in the US with insurance a lot of times. But, I think that something has to be done. DH and I do not have health insurance. His employer does not offer it and getting it on our own is even more expensive than the last time we had it through one of his employers, and that was paying over $600 a month. I work part time from home. Our children are covered through the state program where you pay a small premium. Thank God for that. Also, my children are very healthy and we do not use the insurance often. The most expensive thing in recent years has been the CT Scan they did on the 1 yr old when they thought he might have fluid on the brain. I am grateful for the state program.

I am looking into job opportunites where I can get insurance for us without it costing everything I would make or DH makes. Childcare would also eat us alive. I am applying to the local Sheriff's office this week for a job as a telecommunicator. If I get that, the benefits are fabulous. DH would get a job around mine.




Edited 7/10/2006 10:15 am ET by mom2danjam
Avatar for kerry88
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 10:15am

So you dragged me into the college/necessity issue to "prove your point" because no one else was agreeing?

Kerry with Campbell Elizabeth 11.03.06 and Benjamin Brady 12.10.03
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 10:16am
That is my point. We already do care for the elderly. Medicare is in place. The poor elderly are already cared for.

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