Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids
1070
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 3:13pm

In reading the other posts here, I feel the need to give my opinion (my mother-in-law's phrase - opinions are like rear-ends -- everyone has one and some stink worse than others - LOL!).

I'm an accountant. Granted, my job isn't physically demanding, but at times it is mentally challenging. There are days that I go home and I don't want to cook supper - I'd rather get a bucket of chicken or grab the family to go to the Mexican restaurant down the road to eat. I work 40 hours a week.

As for family's suffering because I work, I think it's give-and-take. Because of my income, we can afford things we wouldn't otherwise be able to have. My kids are able to take piano lessons (yes, they want to - it was their idea), one is in the band at school (who knew a clarinet costs $1,300???) and plays softball and basketball, her little brother is playing football (again, I had to fork out $65 up front - there's no telling how much more I'll have to fork out once practices start!). We drive a minivan with an entertainment system, we get to go to the beach for a week each year. My kids are flying to Dallas next week (we live in Alabama) to visit my sister for the next week. Plane tickets are expensive. All of these things we couldn't do without my income. Since both of my kids are school age, the only time I don't see them that I would if I were a SAHM is 1 1/2 hours in the afternoon during the schoolyear and during the day in the summers. I take them to school - I pick them up at 4:30.

The sacrifices we make because I work - my house isn't as clean as I would like for it to be, my house is a zoo every morning, I have a MOUNTAIN of laundry to do on Saturday, I have to wait for vacation days or holidays to repaint bedrooms or rearrange furniture.

My sister and 4 sisters-in-law all have the luxury (yes, LUXURY) of not having to work. I can't call them before 9 am because most times they aren't out of the bed yet. They call me all day long while I'm at work - "whatcha doin'?" Duh, I'm working!! One of them is on the computer on and off all day long - I know cause I'm sitting here in front of mine and I can see when she logs on and off the messenger program. They wonder why I don't have time to hit this sale or that one. Well, after working all day, shlepping the kids to 14 different activities, I really would rather not go shopping.

One other thing I don't think SAHMs realize - we working mothers aren't shirking our household responsibilities. I still have the house sitting there, waiting for me to come home to clean it. Dinner still has to get to the table. Laundry still has to be washed. Kids still have to be attended to.

I think to each his own - I was a SAHM while my 2 were babies - I couldn't imagine another woman receiving those yummy baby kisses or catching those toddler falls. But that was my preference -- as tired as I am each evening, I can't imagine coming home and taking care of a baby!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 11:18am

Good luck with the job!

And don't get me wrong. I think our canadian healthcare system is very good (overall). And I would not trade places with anyone that doesn't have it. When we go to the hospital we worry about our injuries, not how to pay for it. And you never hear of families becoming bankrupt because their child had to spend months in the hospital. Doesn't really happen. So its a good thing. But it is not free because we pay through our taxes (which is actually quite managable for most). And if you are very low income, you tend to not pay much taxes - so you can get sick and still be ok.

Some people see it as the wealthy pay for the poor (through their higher taxes). But, overall, most people don't seem to mind this. As long as I can walk into an emergency room and get treated without being handed a bill at the end - I'm ok with it!

Waiting times are sometimes long, but nothing in this world is perfect.

josee

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 11:22am
Well if you answer then I didn't drag you into anything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 11:23am
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! Say it isn't so!!! ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 11:25am
She scares me sometimes. ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 11:40am
Technically this is my last week as a sahm. I start my job next week. It is at the same non-profit where I have volunteered for the past year. It is managing their holiday program so my hours in July and August will be minimal (6-10) and mostly can be done at home (with the exception of a once a week meeting). In the fall, it will be closer to 20 hours and go through January. Some of it is what I did last year as a volunteer, I just get "paid" for it this year.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 11:42am
Congrats on your "new" job!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 11:43am
Sweet! Best of luck with it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 12:23pm
ITA with you. It is just sad that my gf will probably lose his house and his money AND he is all there mentally to have to go through that. He is 93 but has the mind of a 20 year old.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 12:23pm

NY.

I think the state will take the house.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 12:25pm

Why do I care? Because it is killing him that he will lose the house he worked so hard to have. He worked 3 jobs while my dad was small to make ends meet. They saved alot of money and now while he is still "all there" in mind, not so much in body, it will be all gone.

Did you ever have family in a nursing home? Do you know how horrible it is there? This will probably literally kill him to be there.

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