Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids
1070
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 3:13pm

In reading the other posts here, I feel the need to give my opinion (my mother-in-law's phrase - opinions are like rear-ends -- everyone has one and some stink worse than others - LOL!).

I'm an accountant. Granted, my job isn't physically demanding, but at times it is mentally challenging. There are days that I go home and I don't want to cook supper - I'd rather get a bucket of chicken or grab the family to go to the Mexican restaurant down the road to eat. I work 40 hours a week.

As for family's suffering because I work, I think it's give-and-take. Because of my income, we can afford things we wouldn't otherwise be able to have. My kids are able to take piano lessons (yes, they want to - it was their idea), one is in the band at school (who knew a clarinet costs $1,300???) and plays softball and basketball, her little brother is playing football (again, I had to fork out $65 up front - there's no telling how much more I'll have to fork out once practices start!). We drive a minivan with an entertainment system, we get to go to the beach for a week each year. My kids are flying to Dallas next week (we live in Alabama) to visit my sister for the next week. Plane tickets are expensive. All of these things we couldn't do without my income. Since both of my kids are school age, the only time I don't see them that I would if I were a SAHM is 1 1/2 hours in the afternoon during the schoolyear and during the day in the summers. I take them to school - I pick them up at 4:30.

The sacrifices we make because I work - my house isn't as clean as I would like for it to be, my house is a zoo every morning, I have a MOUNTAIN of laundry to do on Saturday, I have to wait for vacation days or holidays to repaint bedrooms or rearrange furniture.

My sister and 4 sisters-in-law all have the luxury (yes, LUXURY) of not having to work. I can't call them before 9 am because most times they aren't out of the bed yet. They call me all day long while I'm at work - "whatcha doin'?" Duh, I'm working!! One of them is on the computer on and off all day long - I know cause I'm sitting here in front of mine and I can see when she logs on and off the messenger program. They wonder why I don't have time to hit this sale or that one. Well, after working all day, shlepping the kids to 14 different activities, I really would rather not go shopping.

One other thing I don't think SAHMs realize - we working mothers aren't shirking our household responsibilities. I still have the house sitting there, waiting for me to come home to clean it. Dinner still has to get to the table. Laundry still has to be washed. Kids still have to be attended to.

I think to each his own - I was a SAHM while my 2 were babies - I couldn't imagine another woman receiving those yummy baby kisses or catching those toddler falls. But that was my preference -- as tired as I am each evening, I can't imagine coming home and taking care of a baby!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 4:06pm
You know, you could be a Terminator or Guiliani Republican. Fiscally conservative but socially liberal. If we get as trounced in the upcoming midterm elections as the pundits predict, the party will probably swing that way anyway.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 4:08pm
But you're not talking about "poor" elderly. You're talking about elderly who work the system so they can keep their assets while getting medicaid to pay for their nursing home. And I think that sucks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 4:25pm
If I ask you something that relates to the debate, and you answer me HOW is that dragging you into a debate? Who called you a jerk?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 4:30pm

I think she did. I also suspect she meant it in a lighthearted manner.




Edited 7/10/2006 4:33 pm ET by lauren1063

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 4:42pm
Just making sure. I don't insult people on a debate board. I think it is childish and immature.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 5:02pm

Typically though, you don't have to sell the house to get into the nursing home. And you're talking about something completely different than Copwife. She's complaining that everything has to be liquidated and signed over to relatives X amt of years before Medicaid kicks in, not lamenting the loss of the house.

It's about the money, KWIM?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 5:18pm

Yup. My grandfather had to go into a nursing home at the end of his life for hospice care shortly before he died. Grandma also had to go into one at the end of her life. DH's G-ma is in one now.

So yes, I have nursing home experience. But the nursing homes my grandparents were in were the best we could fine, so their experiences weren't negative. Far from it...grandpa's aides were like family by the time he died.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 6:01pm
No actually she didn't mind about selling her house to use the money for her care. They built that house and lived in it for 50 years. That wasn't an issue at all. They were able to move her most valuable asset being her large piece of land in St Louis and now my DH father and aunt own it. She did have a substantial amount of money that was also given to relatives before the govt got hold of it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 6:01pm
It's just so sad. I have been to 3 in NY and they were all so depressing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 7:06pm
I am not the one in charge of putting my grandparents, my aunt is and she picked the closest places to their home. I have been to 3 different homes recently and they are all the same, depressing.

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