Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Working Mom to 2 Beautiful Kids
1070
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 3:13pm

In reading the other posts here, I feel the need to give my opinion (my mother-in-law's phrase - opinions are like rear-ends -- everyone has one and some stink worse than others - LOL!).

I'm an accountant. Granted, my job isn't physically demanding, but at times it is mentally challenging. There are days that I go home and I don't want to cook supper - I'd rather get a bucket of chicken or grab the family to go to the Mexican restaurant down the road to eat. I work 40 hours a week.

As for family's suffering because I work, I think it's give-and-take. Because of my income, we can afford things we wouldn't otherwise be able to have. My kids are able to take piano lessons (yes, they want to - it was their idea), one is in the band at school (who knew a clarinet costs $1,300???) and plays softball and basketball, her little brother is playing football (again, I had to fork out $65 up front - there's no telling how much more I'll have to fork out once practices start!). We drive a minivan with an entertainment system, we get to go to the beach for a week each year. My kids are flying to Dallas next week (we live in Alabama) to visit my sister for the next week. Plane tickets are expensive. All of these things we couldn't do without my income. Since both of my kids are school age, the only time I don't see them that I would if I were a SAHM is 1 1/2 hours in the afternoon during the schoolyear and during the day in the summers. I take them to school - I pick them up at 4:30.

The sacrifices we make because I work - my house isn't as clean as I would like for it to be, my house is a zoo every morning, I have a MOUNTAIN of laundry to do on Saturday, I have to wait for vacation days or holidays to repaint bedrooms or rearrange furniture.

My sister and 4 sisters-in-law all have the luxury (yes, LUXURY) of not having to work. I can't call them before 9 am because most times they aren't out of the bed yet. They call me all day long while I'm at work - "whatcha doin'?" Duh, I'm working!! One of them is on the computer on and off all day long - I know cause I'm sitting here in front of mine and I can see when she logs on and off the messenger program. They wonder why I don't have time to hit this sale or that one. Well, after working all day, shlepping the kids to 14 different activities, I really would rather not go shopping.

One other thing I don't think SAHMs realize - we working mothers aren't shirking our household responsibilities. I still have the house sitting there, waiting for me to come home to clean it. Dinner still has to get to the table. Laundry still has to be washed. Kids still have to be attended to.

I think to each his own - I was a SAHM while my 2 were babies - I couldn't imagine another woman receiving those yummy baby kisses or catching those toddler falls. But that was my preference -- as tired as I am each evening, I can't imagine coming home and taking care of a baby!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 7:10pm

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You mean before she actually had to use it to pay her own way instead of getting a free ride courtesy of US taxpayers?

That is so unethical and wrong. Disgusting, really.

What do you think about women who collect welfare so they can SAH--do you approve of THEM mooching off taxpayers, as well? Or is it only okay for old people in your family?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 9:25pm

I'm confused. Do you think it is ethical for the elderly to "hide" their assets in order to qualify for care paid for by the government?

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 9:34pm
What do you think she was? I will use one of your words..GASP a TAXPAYER!! Can you imagine?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 9:36pm
She didn't hide her investments. She legally signed over her property to her children before she was placed in a nursing home. Yes I think it is 100% ethical as well as legal.


Edited 7/10/2006 9:37 pm ET by copwife35
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 10:49pm
Uh huh. So that gives her the right to give her money to her family so that the federal government can pay her way then?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 11:02pm
It was legal. Would you want your mother to let's say have to sell her wedding ring that her mother had given her in order to pay her way for a nursing home? Should she sell that to the government or maybe give that to you or one of your children?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 11:43pm
i know my grandmother didnt do that - she used her money to pay for her care so that the taxpayers didnt have to pick up the tab. if her money had run out then she would have been reliant on the taxpayers but do divest for the sole purpose of not paying for her own care she felt was dishonest
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2006
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 11:50pm

Wasn't she a taxpayer?

Just to be clear she hasn't yet moved into govt care. She sold her home in St Louis and still has funds in her account. If she lives another year or two she will be out of money.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 11:57pm
sure she was a taxpayer, she just didnt believe it was other taxpayers responsibility to support her in her old age as long as she had the funds to do so - and to start funneling off funds would not have been honest to her. i guess if she had done it that way our inheritence would have been more but that just wasnt the way she thought.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 1:39am

My MIL is in a nursing home now. She sold her home of 50 years and is paying her bills with the proceeds. I can't wrap my mind around someone thinking it is ethical to expect the government to pay your tab if you have assets and can take care of yourself! Mom is too honest not to handle it the way she is.

Robin

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