The Working Mom and Custody Issues

Avatar for tickmich
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Registered: 03-26-2003
The Working Mom and Custody Issues
1693
Mon, 11-30-2009 - 8:24pm

There was an article in this month's Working mother magazine about wrking mom's losing custody to SAHD's.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 01-08-2010 - 11:53pm

<That was not my question. I asked do you know how LONG his clubs and activities are?>>


....and I answered, "Of course".

PumpkinAngel

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Registered: 06-24-2008
Sat, 01-09-2010 - 12:02am
I like the HS football games/band competitions. Dh and I treat it like date night. Usually MSS is home babysitting younger kids, or we have a sitter if MSS had other plans, nobody else really wants to sit with us in the cold weather watching the band that much, lol. OSS doesn't pay us any attention to us unless he needs cash to buy food, of course. So we just hang out by ourselves mostly, chat with other parents we know a little, talk, hang out, etc. It's a nice way to spend a Friday or Saturday night, even if we do have to huddle under a blanket in the freezing cold to do it.

"The last of human freedoms - the ability to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances." - Viktor Frankl.



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Ten Rules for Being Human
"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sat, 01-09-2010 - 12:11am

<<So they have winter activities, practices and games, I assume, but still have time to hang out after school?>>


Why would you assume that when it's not what has clearly been stated?


<<And he still hangs out at school as much?>>


Clearly my previous posts on this subject were not read, please re-read.


<<Soooo..he hangs out at school, waiting for you to pick him up after you get off of work and then you take him to the activities, which are not in or near the school?>>


No, but where do you get this stuff?


<<You need a library to do homework? :0 So you allowed him to come home, alone, once this year? Isn't he a teenager?>>


At times, yes...for research, do they not use libraries in your area?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sat, 01-09-2010 - 12:12am

So you admit you spoke incorrectly?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sat, 01-09-2010 - 12:13am

You didn't answer the why....why do they need "roving security guards"?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sat, 01-09-2010 - 12:18am

If you won't answer the questions and continue misrepresent what I have said in the past (which I will always correct, heads up there) then there isn't much to discuss.


I have said things a million times as well, just saying.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Sat, 01-09-2010 - 12:18am
If the needs warrant the different rules, then the different rules are not a double standard. It's great you feel comfortable admitting to a double standard, but it doesn't sound to me like it is. Paying people differently based on education, experience, seniority or performance is not a double standard. Your situation is like that, there's a good reason for having a different rule, apparently. You said it was based on maturity, maturity in childhood could be analogous to job performance in adulthood, privileges analogous to pay.



Paying two people differently or awarding privileges based on an irrelevant factor is a double standard. It's the presence of the irrelevant factor that makes it unfair or unjust, and therefore a double standard. So that would be like you giving your younger son more privileges because he had a different eye color or because he was taller, when eye color and being taller were not requirements of having the privilege. Unfair, unjust, not warranted = double standard.



Unless you are saying it's unfair or unjust to have different rules based on maturity levels. Kids might think it feels unfair or unjust, but adults can probably agree it makes a lot of sense and constitutes good parenting where there is a good reason and it is warranted, that it's fair and just.

"The last of human freedoms - the ability to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances." - Viktor Frankl.



Photobucket



Ten Rules for Being Human
"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sat, 01-09-2010 - 12:21am

That's a good way of saying it...both my kids like the transition in the morning and the evening.

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 01-09-2010 - 12:58am
Yep, the kids at my dd's school know he's there to help. Since MS and HS buildings aren't locked, I like knowing he's there keeping people who don't belong there out.
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 01-09-2010 - 1:03am
Heads up, I let lots of things go. I just stop posting when it turns personal or it's obvious people just want to nitpick.

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