The Working Mom and Custody Issues

Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
The Working Mom and Custody Issues
1693
Mon, 11-30-2009 - 8:24pm

There was an article in this month's Working mother magazine about wrking mom's losing custody to SAHD's.

Pages

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 01-09-2010 - 1:09am
Wow--that sounds like no worries for parents.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2009
Sat, 01-09-2010 - 2:33am

"Wow is all I can say to that. SCHOOL is not the problem, you DO realize that? Seems that they are being used as a babysitter though, is that why you love it more and more?"


So he was going to a h.s. varsity game but he does not go to h.s., correct? How was he getting there?


Ok...wait so it is a combo ms and hs and you have NO problem with your 12/13 yr. old hangin out with 17/18 yrs. olds??


Ok now instead of talking about differences in parenting & allowing supervision,

In the frequently relevant (to so many debates on Ivillage) words of Inigio Montoya from The Princess Bride "You keep using that

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Sat, 01-09-2010 - 2:57am
Because your dd can get pregnant, correct?

~~~~~ o o o ~~~~

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Oscar Wilde

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Sat, 01-09-2010 - 3:21am
There is that. But it is also that I really don't believe that not allowing the kid to go out, for example, will prevent much bad behavior.

~~~~~ o o o ~~~~

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Oscar Wilde

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Sat, 01-09-2010 - 4:08am

" Further, if a kid (general here) doesn't know that they shouldn't wait for bus by themselves, out in the cold and dark...more supervision is probably a good idea."

I haven't been following the whole thread, but this statement surprises me. Ds (14) waits for the bus (public) every day in the cold and dark throughout winter. His school day usually finishes when it is dark or nearly so (in winter at least), and there is no such thing a warm winter here. How does this indicate a need for more supervision? He should know better because? What are the risks involved?

"how do the high school students handle such strict supervision? When do kids learn independence and responsibility for their behavior if they are always required to have supervision?"

This also makes no sense to me. A school requiring supervision of the kids at all times while on school property in no way, shape or form indicates that said kids never have the chance to learn independence and responsibility for their behaviour away from school property or that they are in general always under strict supervision. In merely indicates that the school does not want to be held liable for potential issues that may come up on school property. It's up to parents to create opportunities for learning responsibility and independence; I don't think a school is obliged to provide a space for this kind of learning.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Sat, 01-09-2010 - 5:43am

My sisters are 4 and 5 years older than me. My parents never had a problem with me hanging out with them. My Dad's youngest sisters are 5 and 8 years older than my oldest sister. They never had a problem with my sisters hanging out with their aunts.

Furthermore when we lived overseas, our high school was a combination junior/senior high school. I had several classes with high school students when I was still in 7th and 8th grades (gym, chorus, journalism (an English alternate for those of us on the school newspaper), German). Even once my sisters graduated high school and no longer attended, my parents didn't have a problem with me hanging out with my classmates. And I'm Facebook friends with a bunch of them even now.

One of the best surprises I had while in the Army was being detailed one day to help out at the commissary warehouse at Ansbach and finding two guys (twins) who'd been in my journalism class were the managers of the warehouse. It was the funniest thing because when I reported with a couple other folks from my unit, I recognized the guys just as they recognized me and we must have killed a good 45 minutes shooting the breeze (while they let the rest of the detail take a break). Then they taught me how to use the forklift, so that was pretty cool, too :) I thought that day was gonna suck, and as it turned out, I had a great time.

************

Kitty

"Flying there, yes you need a passport.... taking a cruise there you'd just need her to have a BC. If you took a cruise out of Port Canaveral you could spend one or two days at Disney to satisfy that, then a three or four day cruise to Bahamas and maybe Key West." -- Jamie's excellent and accurate advice with regard to travel documents needed when traveling internationally

************

Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Sat, 01-09-2010 - 6:05am

One thing I like where we live is that it is pretty common for people, kids and adults, to socialize across age lines.

BTW, lol on the forklift. My grandpa had a building supply business. He introduced the forklift there after having seen one in a James Bond movie. I think driving that forklift was one of his favorite things ever.

~~~~~ o o o ~~~~

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Oscar Wilde

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Sat, 01-09-2010 - 6:15am
That's something I noticed and liked about going to the military school (not a military school, but one of the schools run by the military) The community was so small you couldn't help but integrate across much wider age groupings.

************

Kitty

"Flying there, yes you need a passport.... taking a cruise there you'd just need her to have a BC. If you took a cruise out of Port Canaveral you could spend one or two days at Disney to satisfy that, then a three or four day cruise to Bahamas and maybe Key West." -- Jamie's excellent and accurate advice with regard to travel documents needed when traveling internationally

************

Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Sat, 01-09-2010 - 7:32am
True. The school my kids attended in Turkey had K-12th grade in the same building. At a school here in the states middle and high school shards the same campus.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Sat, 01-09-2010 - 9:00am

Here's another way to look at it:

Child1 gets privileges because they want them with no limits, Child2 gets the same privileges only when they demonstrate a certain maturity level or age. That's two standards, applied arbitrarily, thus making it unjust and a double standard.

Child1 and Child2 get privileges when they demonstrate the requisite maturity level, and lose the privilege if they fail to demonstrate the requisite maturity level. That is one standard applied to all. One standard, so not a double standard.

"The last of human freedoms - the ability to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances." - Viktor Frankl.



Photobucket



Ten Rules for Being Human
"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

Pages