The Working Mom and Custody Issues
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The Working Mom and Custody Issues
| Mon, 11-30-2009 - 8:24pm |
There was an article in this month's Working mother magazine about wrking mom's losing custody to SAHD's.

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yup; thanks. my oldest, especially,
<< you don't always know about friends of friends or know 100% about their friends.>>
Of course not. I don't think anyone claimed to.
I just don't thinkt hat knowing 100% of my child's friends would provide a signficant benefit.
I kind of liken trust in my kids to trust in my DH.
I have no idea what he truly does outside of my sight, for all I know he could be banging every woman within sight. But nothing in our 28 years of marriage has given me any indication that he has been anything but faithful. So how I treat him is based on that not on the fact that some men are unfaithful.
It is the same with my children, as long as they showed that they could be trusted I gave them that trust, I did not treat them like they could not be trusted because other kids could not be. My kids did not just drop out of the sky in middle school. At each stage of their lives I had a history with them that gave me an idea of what they could handle in the way of independence.
Ah, so I apparently misunderstood what you meant when you said: "..if a kid *(general here)* doesn't know that they shouldn't wait for bus by themselves, out in the cold and dark...more supervision is probably a good idea." You didn't really mean "general", you just meant in the very particular context of a child "choosing the cold, dark, lonely and possibly dangerous (due to the security guard) wait versus the warm, bright, populated and guarded wait would seem to me that in general supervision is needed to make a better choice. "
The interesting thing is that the "context" for you is now not just a question of cold and dark, it's apparently also the fact that it's "lonely and possibly dangerous", though how you know that it's actually lonely and possibly dangerous (certainly the presence of a security guard is no indication of whether the area is actually dangerous, the guard might just be there as a standard precaution), or that the child would be making the choice to stand outside alone is quite beyond my ability to understand. I'm not a mind-reader and I've never been to mom34101's kids' school. Perhaps you have been?
"So then perhaps you can answer the questions? "
What questions? It seems very simple and straight-forward to me: a school has the prerogative to choose whether or not to allow students to wander freely on campus without participating in a supervised activity. Some schools allow the kids to freely wander; others don't. I don't see how this is in any way related to whether kids are able to learn how to be independent and act responsibly.
"I tend to be more a believe in a partner with a school versus separate opportunities for learning these types of things. There are many opportunities within the school, ime, to support the growing independence of students and I welcome that.."
I don't really mind what a school does in this regard, but I don't believe it is necessary for a school to provide such opportunities. It may certainly be more convenient for parents, but I don't think schools are obliged allow kids to wander freely at all times.
"It also puzzled me to have such restrictions on high school students, which is why I had asked the questions and I think if they had been answered, I wouldn't have been puzzled on my end."
Really, it is very very simple. The fact that a school requires high school students to either be in a supervised activity or leave campus in no way indicates that said high school students are constantly being supervised, haven't had the chance to learn how to be independent, behave responsibly etc. etc. They simply aren't allowed to wander freely around the school campus in order to protect the school from potential issues and lawsuits. Unless you are suggesting that high school students are spending their entire waking time at school, I don't see how they would lack other opportunities to be unsupervised and independent merely because a school requires them to be in a supervised activity while on campus.
you seem to be posting to the wrong person. i never said anything that had anything to do with 100% of anything. in fact, i specifically said that every kid is going to slip and every kid is going to try to slide.
From 2 of PKA's posts....
I know all of my son's friends and most of their parents and many of them for more than just the last two years in middle school, some since elementary school.
Of course. I know his friends, his teachers, the parents of his friends and in some cases, I know the children of his teachers and the parents of his teachers, lol.
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