The Working Mom and Custody Issues

Avatar for tickmich
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Registered: 03-26-2003
The Working Mom and Custody Issues
1693
Mon, 11-30-2009 - 8:24pm

There was an article in this month's Working mother magazine about wrking mom's losing custody to SAHD's.

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Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 4:22pm

<-->campus in no way indicates that said high school students are constantly being supervised, haven't had the chance to learn how to be independent, behave responsibly etc. etc.>>


If they are either in a supervised activity or not on campus, why doesn't that mean they are being supervised?

PumpkinAngel

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Registered: 04-22-2005
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 4:23pm
So then you shouldn't need to ask "like what?" regarding what a police officer can do that a security guard can't.














Avatar for mom34101
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 4:23pm

"Actually neither, I simply read all the posts, especially the ones that stated that a security guard told the kid that they couldn't wait outside in the cold and dark by themselves and they needed to come inside."

Incorrect. The child in the "hypothetical" never actually went outside.




Edited 1/11/2010 4:28 pm ET by mom34101
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Registered: 10-08-1998
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 4:26pm
The fact that she prefers one choice over the other doesn't take away the choice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 4:26pm
Make arrests, for one.
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Registered: 08-29-2002
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 4:31pm

"Actually neither, I simply read all the posts, especially the ones that stated that a security guard told the kid that they couldn't wait outside in the cold and dark by themselves and they needed to come inside. "

And precisely what was it about this statement that lead you to believe being outside would mean "lonely and potentially dangerous"? That seems like a rather bizarre leap to me.

"The ones that you quoted in the previous post but did not answer. How the high school students handle the level of supervision and when do the kids learn the type of independence they learn from being responsible for their own actions in a setting such as a school?"

Surely this is self-evident??? Kids can also have opportunities to learn the type of independence they learn from being responsible for their own actions in other settings. They don't have to learn it in a school setting in order to learn it. As you say:

"I didn't say it was necessary, simply my preference for a school to be a partner in this situation....I'm certain I wasn't making any statements about the fact that school should oblige this type of action"

It's convenient for you that the school allows your kids to wander freely on campus. However, if the school didn't allow it, surely you would be capable of providing other opportunities and settings in which your kids could learn the type of independence they learn from being responsible for their own actions?

As for how they handle being supervised at school. Are you honestly saying that basic supervision at school would be a hardship for high school students? I don't remember being oppressed by the fact that we were always under basic supervision on campus, but perhaps times have changed....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 4:39pm

I agree with what you are saying. I only posted about what "could" be bad about having tweens/teens hanging about at school unsupervised when some posters starting saying things in the vein of "oh whatever could happen at school? School is so great, there could never be a problem there . . . etc."

I drop off my 13 year old for jazz band a couple times a week 45 minutes before school, she could be doing all kinds of things instead of going to the actual jazz band practice. I agree that it is a very good idea to keep tabs on your child, but let them have some independence, while knowing their friends and keeping in mind their abilities and resistance on being led astray.

In the frequently relevant (to so many debates on Ivillage) words of Inigio Montoya from The Princess Bride "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

In the frequently relevant (to so many debates on Ivillage) words of Inigio Montoya from The Princess Bride "You keep using that

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 4:43pm

"No of course not, I simply asked the question how they would learn...to be independent and so forth in a such a setting without the school allowing them to be independent in that setting."

I'll try this one last time, using this quote as a basis: Why are you so fixated on kids having to learn how to be independent and so forth specifically *in the school setting*? It seems we are back to a game of semantics because you keep talking about the school setting specifically with regard to independence and I'm talking about kids learning how to be independent in general. Kids do need to learn how to be independent and so forth. They DO NOT require the opportunity to learn this *at school* in order to learn this.

In other words, just because a school requires high school students to either be in a supervised activity or leave campus in no way indicates that said high school students are constantly being supervised *in general*, haven't had the chance to learn how to be independent, behave responsibly *in general*. It just means they don't get to practice this specifically *in a school setting*. Or are you suggesting that, having learned how to be independent in other settings, a kid would be incapable of behaving independently and so forth in a school setting?

I would certainly hope that any parent with a kid who goes to a school with such rules (i.e., be in a supervised activity or leave campus) would be capable of providing other opportunities for the kid to learn how to be independent. I would also hope that gaining experiences with regard to responsible behaviour in some settings would translate into understanding how to behave in other settings. But, of course, I could be wrong about that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 4:49pm
LOL, I guess that would be JUST too easy. Sigh.

In the frequently relevant (to so many debates on Ivillage) words of Inigio Montoya from The Princess Bride "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

In the frequently relevant (to so many debates on Ivillage) words of Inigio Montoya from The Princess Bride "You keep using that

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-1998
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 4:57pm
So what?

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