The Working Mom and Custody Issues
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The Working Mom and Custody Issues
| Mon, 11-30-2009 - 8:24pm |
There was an article in this month's Working mother magazine about wrking mom's losing custody to SAHD's.

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<<Yep, and FTR, I don't see what the fuss is about the term "primary caregiver" being used, particularly in a custody dispute.>>
If that's what you are getting out my posts, that's not accurate...I don't have a problem with the term primary caregiver, not at all...what I have a problem with and what I have stated over and over is that being a primary caregiver doesn't mean that the parent is parenting more, it's not an accurate way to divide custody in a custody dispute because there is so much more to parenting than tracking time spent and completing tasks.
PumpkinAngel
Malcolm Gladwell Blink
Well again....If that's what you are getting out my posts, that's not accurate...I don't have a problem with the term primary caregiver, not at all...what I have a problem with and what I have stated over and over is that being a primary caregiver doesn't mean that the parent is parenting more, it's not an accurate way to divide custody in a custody dispute because there is so much more to parenting than tracking time spent and completing tasks.
PumpkinAngel
Ok, let's try this angle.
Surface view: what you see. Reality: what really is.
The surface view MAY be accurate because the person with the child 8 hours might spend 5 of that parenting, while the parent with the child 2 hours might only spend 15 minutes parenting. The surface view might NOT be accurate if what you see is misleading, and not a true picture of what is really going on.
However, the concept of primary caregiver is not only a "surface view" thing. It can be, say as in the example of a family court judge making a determination based on he said/she said without really knowing the family well. Or, it can be more than a surface view, as in the family members themselves all agreeing that Parent A is the primary caregiver, because in reality, Parent A is.
Malcolm Gladwell Blink
Hmmm, that sounds a lot like what I said before. Different levels within my own family is exactly what I described earlier. It absolutely does not "have to be" any one way. There doesn't even "have to be" one primary caregiver. But sometimes there is.
Malcolm Gladwell Blink
Why do you say it's not an accurate way to divide custody? It'd say might be the best way in one custody situation, it might be a really bad way in another custody situation. It depends.
What do you think IS an accurate way to divide custody? Or do you think there is one? Do you think who the primary caregiver was during the marriage should be a factor at all? At this point I am not clear on what your POV is, but I'd like to know.
Malcolm Gladwell Blink
I am and will continue to respond to your posts because I figure if we can get to the point you understand what I am saying and I understand what you are saying, we can actually debate the topic. I figure there is some common ground here where we can agree, and might be some areas where we disagree. We just aren't there yet.
By all means, if you want to stop then stop.
Malcolm Gladwell Blink
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