The Working Mom and Custody Issues

Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
The Working Mom and Custody Issues
1693
Mon, 11-30-2009 - 8:24pm

There was an article in this month's Working mother magazine about wrking mom's losing custody to SAHD's.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Sat, 12-19-2009 - 4:06pm
Executives in our company have more flexibility BUT they are not paid for vacation, sick or personal days.



So if they are out for two weeks they wouldn't get a paycheck? As though they are hourly employees? Or are they paid hourly and that's the reason?

"The last of human freedoms - the ability to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances. " - Viktor Frankl.



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"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2009
Sat, 12-19-2009 - 4:50pm

Don't know as

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 12-19-2009 - 5:23pm

How is it that a parent isn't taking care of the child while she's spending time with him?

Caretaking is part of parenting, not something separate that doesn't get "counted" when a parent does it. You're building a relationship with the child when you take care of her. Your definition of parenting is obviously different (and much less hands-on) than mine.

A parent who spends 8 hours with the child has far more opportunity for parenting than the parent who spends 2 hours with the child. Even if you insist that parenting has to include doing something beyond caretaking (which I don't believe), there's far more opportunity for that in 8 hours than in 2.

A slacker sahp might do less parenting in 8 hours than a motivated wohp in 2 hours, but you said you weren't talking about slackers.

In any case, her argument wasn't even about parenting--it was about whether someone who spends more time with the child is the primary "caretaker." I don't see the big deal there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Sat, 12-19-2009 - 7:10pm
Right. Uh-huh. Tell us another.

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Kitty

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Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2009
Sat, 12-19-2009 - 7:12pm
I've always been a FT-wohm yet have always considered myself as my children's primary caregiver.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2009
Sat, 12-19-2009 - 7:26pm
Oh, sorry, I guess you have a copy of my company handbook and caught me-lol!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sat, 12-19-2009 - 7:48pm

Ime, payroll wise in a variety of companies....executives are paid a salary, xyz number of dollars a year, they aren't paid "vacation time" or "holiday time", they are simply made the same amount no matter what the day is.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sat, 12-19-2009 - 7:59pm

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Many children don't need care, I know when I spend time with my children...sitting right next to one right now, there isn't any care involved.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Sat, 12-19-2009 - 8:39pm
I've always been a FT-wohm yet have always considered myself as my children's primary caregiver.



No doubt lots of FT-WOHPs are.

"The last of human freedoms - the ability to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances. " - Viktor Frankl.



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Edited 12/19/2009 8:50 pm ET by harmony08
"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Sat, 12-19-2009 - 9:12pm

I'm not an executive in my company (just mid-level mgmt), but our compensation packages are similarly structured. Sick time is unlimited, but anything over a certain time out or work, is considered short term or long term disability, and compensation is insured rather than paid as straight salary. If I have a cold and take a day or two off, I get paid my usual salary; if I get hit by a bus, my company's disability insurance pays my salary.

Vacation is negotiated as part of the overall compensation package. I don't get paid for vacation, my salary includes regular compensation for six weeks off. Execs usually have similar vacation time structured into their contract, it's rare that we get to take it.

I would never conclude that I don't get paid for vacation, sick days, or personal time under this compensation package. The compensation package includes it.

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