The Working Mom and Custody Issues

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Registered: 03-26-2003
The Working Mom and Custody Issues
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Mon, 11-30-2009 - 8:24pm

There was an article in this month's Working mother magazine about wrking mom's losing custody to SAHD's.

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Registered: 06-24-2008
Sun, 12-20-2009 - 10:55pm
For example, it's not just choosing a church, it's taking the child to church with you, sharing your religious beliefs with the child on a regular basis, and so forth.



Exactly. And if a court says you have equal rights to make religious, medical and educational decisions for your children but also get to have your children with you 60-80% of the time, that's going to feel different than if they convey to you all those same decision making rights but you can only have your children in your home 20-40% of the time.



I always want to be 50% or above. I don't want the challenge of being an effective parent with less than that.

"The last of human freedoms - the ability to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances. " - Viktor Frankl.



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"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

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Registered: 01-15-2006
Mon, 12-21-2009 - 6:59am

so,what's your opinion..that the judge should have stepped in and ordered equal custody?

 

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Registered: 08-27-2007
Mon, 12-21-2009 - 9:45am

I'm disagreeing that they think of me as being in first place or as being the primary one to meet thier needs. They are able to understand that if my DH were here he would be doing exactly what I am doing. Therefore its not

              *Praying for my best friend, my Dad*


 &n

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Registered: 08-27-2007
Mon, 12-21-2009 - 9:52am

Outside of cooking,

              *Praying for my best friend, my Dad*


 &n

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Registered: 08-27-2007
Mon, 12-21-2009 - 9:53am




I'm not following this subthread at all, but as a parent of a teen and a couple of tweens, I parent them all the frickin' time, whether I'm with them or not.


I supervise their schoolwork, but they are responsible for it. I approve and chauffeur them to their chosen afterschool activities. I financially subsidize almost all their activities. They know that basketball and band will be supported, but the group trip to China is out of the question at this time.


I make all kind of decisions for them about what they can or can not do whether they are in my care or not. The kids and I are mostly copacetic .


YES!! ME too. I thought I was the only one who

              *Praying for my best friend, my Dad*


 &n

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Mon, 12-21-2009 - 10:53am

While reading your posts I admired a cup YDD found in her brothers room that she was showing off to me, served as a human jungle gym for DS, mediated a dispute over another toy, and kissed a boo-boo. I think that is caregiving because of what I am doing, parenting because a parent is doing it.

Meanwhile dh is downstairs on a phone call working. He is just as much of a parent as me, can do most of the same things just as well, but he is not actively doing any parenting right at the moment. He is doing less than me this day in terms of interacting, and has since they were born, but in terms of ability, committment, caring and loving we are equals. In terms of long-term planning he probably does more than me, and in terms of providing so for he has done 100%. Ultimately we are parenting equals.

"The last of human freedoms - the ability to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances. " - Viktor Frankl.



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"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

Avatar for mom34101
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 12-21-2009 - 1:05pm
Yes, our family is like this too. All four of us wouldn't normally be off doing our own thing in different parts of the house for long periods.
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Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 12-21-2009 - 1:10pm

<-->school together or with their friends. That's pretty typical among the parents we know of younger teens/tweens.>>


I'm not ready for my kids to be home everyday after school unsupervised either, that would be a regular basis, imo and as I said earlier not something we do.

PumpkinAngel

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Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 12-21-2009 - 1:12pm

I agree, which is I think the contributions of both the sahp and wohp in the op example should be considered as parenting, not just the sahp hours that he was able to have witnesses to confirm.


PumpkinAngel

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Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 12-21-2009 - 1:15pm

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Yes....I think in a great number of cases, including this one, equal custody is in the best interest of the children.


PumpkinAngel

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