The Working Mom and Custody Issues

Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
The Working Mom and Custody Issues
1693
Mon, 11-30-2009 - 8:24pm

There was an article in this month's Working mother magazine about wrking mom's losing custody to SAHD's.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 6:44am

curious what trip your 16 went on without adult supervision.


just asking because there's a couple different overnight camps DH and i are pondering for our oldest children, one is through the Y and the other is a church campsite for just middle school and up.

 

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 8:50am
She went to one of the Greek islands for a week with a group of her friends. They stayed in a summer house they had borrowed from my uncle, but my uncle was not there.

~~~~~ o o o ~~~~

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Oscar Wilde

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 9:03am

I don't really see what is wrong with "just hanging" actually, but when my kid was the age yours are, I was as horrified by the thought as you are. ;) If the kid is ok, then the hanging is usually ok too.

As far as supervision of middle schoolers and up, I do think they need parents to be around. However, it is in a different way than the way you need to be mindful of a preschooler, for example. The way we have done it is to center our lives around a small neighborhood, where we live, shop, hang and work. So even if dd is home alone, she knows that either one of her parents might turn up any time. There is also a separate suite in my office where she can hang with her friends, but the same holds there. We may not physically be in the same space, but we are never very far away either. Add to that the "neighborhood watch." Everyone knows everyone else, so if the kids do something spectacularly stupid, it is not likely to remain a secret very long.

~~~~~ o o o ~~~~

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Oscar Wilde

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 10:45am

I didn't state that it did...I just don't think it needs to be direct supervision by the parents/teachers at all times.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 10:56am

<

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 11:04am

<>


Yep, one of the wonderful things about my son's middle/high school...it's really a community between the school and families.


PumpkinAngel

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 11:29am

I started leaving my dd unsupervised when she was 11. To me, that means no adult is home, and the child is by herself. She's not allowed to have friends over when a parent isn't home.

My kids have always had the kind of downtime you're talking about, but if I'm home, they're not unsupervised. I check on them if I don't see them for awhile. In addition, our family dynamic is not such that we're usually all off doing our own thing for lengthy periods when we're home. Our house isn't huge, and the kids tend to pop in and out of the kitchen, read in the living room by the fireplace, etc. DD2 tends to do her homework at the dining room table, and although DD1 normally does hers in her room, she's got a project due Monday that's all over my dining room table at the moment.

This debate has been about the idea of middle school kids hanging out unsupervised with their friends at school, after school. As I said at the start of this, I don't think my dd is ready for that yet, and even if she were, her school (which is grades 6 to 12) doesn't allow kids in the building or on the grounds unsupervised after school, so it isn't an issue. PKA finds that unusual. It's typical around here for middle school kids, and I find that parents are even more concerned about supervision when it's a MS/HS combo like my dd's school.

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 11:31am
What is direct supervision to you? I thought kids were either supervised (in line of sight of an adult) or unsupervised (not in line of sight) for you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 11:37am

my kids are pretty great kids if i must say so myself ( i'm sure we're all a little bias ) ;).

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 11:45am

<< As I said at the start of this, I don't think my dd is ready for that yet, and even if she were, her school (which is grades 6 to 12# doesn't allow kids in the building or on the grounds unsupervised after school, so it isn't an issue. PKA finds that unusual. It's typical around here for middle school kids, and I find that parents are even more concerned about supervision when it's a MS/HS combo like my dd's school.>>


I do think it's unusual....I went to a large suburban high school,

PumpkinAngel

Pages