The Working Mom and Custody Issues

Avatar for tickmich
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Registered: 03-26-2003
The Working Mom and Custody Issues
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Mon, 11-30-2009 - 8:24pm

There was an article in this month's Working mother magazine about wrking mom's losing custody to SAHD's.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 11:49am

<<What is direct supervision to you?>>


In direct sight.


<< I thought kids were either supervised (in line of sight of an adult) or unsupervised (not in line of sight) for you. >>


What kids, my kids?

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for rollmops2009
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Registered: 02-24-2009
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 11:50am
So if I understand correctly, the idea is that they are only unsupervised at home?

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Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 11:52am

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PumpkinAngel

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Registered: 06-24-2008
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 11:56am

I think my idea of supervision is similar to yours. To me, if I'm home, in the other room, not actually watching the kids but I'm here, that's supervised. Just like a trip for teenagers that is "supervised" by adults might not have those adults starting at every teen every moment of every day. When our kids are walking around town with their friends, and they can't just walk into the house to find an adult, then I consider them to be unsupervised.

I don't really know if our kids can hang around the middle or high school unsupervised. The school probably discourages it, but they don't have a big gate around the school grounds with signs or anything to prevent it. It's generally public property anyone can go there to hang out I suppose. When my middle and high school stepsons are at their respective schools, it's usually because they have a reason for it - all the organized activities have adults involved in them, so I consider them supervised then.

They can be home alone though, that's based on the circumstances and their maturity level. If there is no adult home, that is unsupervised to me.

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Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 12:25pm

<>


So then if my kids hang out after school or choose to attend a basketball game that is at school, after school....and there are teachers and staff present (but not directly responsible), are my kids supervised or not?


PumpkinAngel

Avatar for mom34101
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 12:32pm

I can't debate your experience; all I can tell you is that it isn't unusual here. Perhaps it's because this is a large urban district rather than a private school (or a suburban school 25 years ago).

I can see how games might be different, since the kids have a reason to be there, and it's probably impractical to require a parent to accompany a child to an after-school game. The 6-12 schools here are all specialty schools (arts, science, languages), so they don't have sports.

But you talked about kids "coming and going" from the building, hanging out socializing, with no particular reason to be there and no one supervising them. That isn't typical here and isn't allowed at any of the 6-12 or MS I know of in our district.

What would I be concerned about? "Safety and avoidance of problems," as you mentioned earlier when discussing supervision for MS students. I don't understand why those same 11-14 year-olds need supervision when they're in a MS but not when they're in a MS/HS. What's the difference? IME, parents are even more concerned about supervision when it's a MS/HS because the kids are getting exposed to older kids earlier.

Not sure what you mean by "direct and constant supervision." I didn't use those words.

Avatar for mom34101
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 12:33pm
I'm not sure I understand your question.
Avatar for mom34101
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 12:42pm
Yes, that's pretty much how I see it.
Avatar for mom34101
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 12:49pm

I thought in the past you said kids were either unsupervised or supervised. This was in a thread when you were discussing another poster's child, so no, I didn't think it was limited to your kids.

But I certainly think there are gradations of supervision. I don't know of anybody who has any child in line of sight 24/7. Even an infant sleeps or sits in a bouncy seat while mom goes to the bathroom. No offense, but I find line of sight as the only definition of supervision kind of silly.

Do the teachers know who is in the building and check on them occasionally?

Avatar for mom34101
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 12:58pm
If there's no one checking on them and no one responsible for them, I'd say they're unsupervised. What you're talking about sounds more like rollmops' "neighborhood watch" idea.

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