The Working Mom and Custody Issues

Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
The Working Mom and Custody Issues
1693
Mon, 11-30-2009 - 8:24pm

There was an article in this month's Working mother magazine about wrking mom's losing custody to SAHD's.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 7:21pm

Yes, my boys are just as aware of teenage pregnancy and its consequences as my daughter. Except for the gestating the child, I would expect my boys to be involved financially and emotionally whether they were ready or not. So, not exactly equal, but a very serious responsibilities for boys.

I'm not sure how this relates though, unless you'll put your son in a position to have unprotected sex, but you'll protect your daughter? I expect to have the same rules on hanging out, dating, etc for both my girl and boys.

I guess he relied on his manly weight and penis to protect from the danger, as OP suggested?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 7:23pm

"Do you think it is the same when a teenage girl gets pregnant than a boy who gets a girl pregnant?"

No, unfortunately we live in a sexist society. Teen aged girls looked down on more than the boys that got them pregnant. They also carry all of the physical burdens of a teenage pregnancy and more of the other burdens also.

"Do you find it ok for your teenage dd to hang out with boys with no supervision?"

Sure. I have no teenage DDs now but did have three and some of their time was with boys unsupervised.

Will you not allow your teenage DD to date to will you go along on all of her date to supervise?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2010
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 7:26pm
gonna follow you and agree.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 7:28pm
Of course it doesn't ONLY happen to girls, but it happens at a higher rate to girls. I feel more vulnerable as a girl. I think my 15 yo stepson is safer walking somewhere alone than I am, less likely to be attacked due to his size and gender. I am sure he could fight off an attack better than I could due to his size, and the fact he has more experience fighting (friends, brothers) than I do (nobody ever). So far with dh an my kids, size is closely correlated with gender.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 7:32pm

<< Except for the gestating the child, I would expect my boys to be involved financially and emotionally whether they were ready or not. So, not exactly equal, but a very serious responsibilities for boys.>>

That is very good, and I would say the same about my sons, but if I were to have a daughter could I be as sure about the responsibility level of any boy that may get her pregnant? A boy can more or less wash his hands of it, whereas a girl must actively decide whether to abort or give birth and then whether to raise the baby after birth.

We like to think the best of our children and the friends they hang out with, but I do feel that girls are at a higher risk with regard to the consequences of certain actions.















Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 7:33pm

Yes, but you weren't just talking about specific events. I've moved past that. I even agreed that having staff there and parents is a limited kind of supervision. But I can't get to the kids hanging out socializing after school without supervision. Even if there are more specific events in a MS/HS, that doesn't have any effect on the unsupervised socializing. Why would that aspect be different in a MS/HS?

As I said, most parents I know are *more* concerned about supervision in that setting because the younger kids are being exposed to older kids. Personally, I think one of the cool things about dd's school is that the older kids mentor the younger kids in their arts majors, but I totally understand why some parents worry about younger kids being exposed to stuff earlier. You really don't get that?

Your school has never faced any safety or other problem issues and doesn't have to worry about them? OK.

So when you say "direct and constant supervision," do you mean the child has to be in the "line of sight" or not? That's what I'm asking.

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 7:38pm
I think you and Harmony are both making a good point. My dh is a lot more lax about locking doors than I am, and I think it's because he's a big guy who doesn't worry about safety issues the way I sometimes do. I always lock the car when I get in.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2009
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 7:39pm

Yes, my boys are just as aware of teenage pregnancy and its consequences as my daughter. Except for the gestating the child, I would expect my boys to be involved financially and emotionally whether they were ready or not. So, not exactly equal, but a very serious responsibilities for boys.


That's great but not all boys will not bail and that one boy could be your dd's bf.


I'm not sure how this relates though, unless you'll put your son in a position to have unprotected sex, but you'll protect your daughter? I expect to have the same rules on hanging out, dating, etc for both my girl and boys.



I guess he relied on his manly weight and penis to protect from the danger, as OP suggested?


No street smarts or common sense?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 7:40pm

Really - do you have proof of that? I pretty sure that boys and men are more likely to be victims of violent crime than women.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2007
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 7:41pm
I so agree!

              *Praying for my best friend, my Dad*


 &n

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