The Working Mom and Custody Issues

Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
The Working Mom and Custody Issues
1693
Mon, 11-30-2009 - 8:24pm

There was an article in this month's Working mother magazine about wrking mom's losing custody to SAHD's.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 8:48pm

Do you have some stats to back that up?

I read the local paper, including the crime report, and honestly, there are many more muggings/robberies reported that involve men, than women. I don't know the actual stats, but I'd be surprised if women are more likely victims than men (rapists excluded).

Several years ago, in broad daylight, a teenage boy that goes to the high school affiliated with my kids' grammar school, was walking home from school. He was in a residential neighborhood. A drug addict jumped him and bit the living crap out of him, stealing his cell phone. He was beaten so badly he was hospitalized. Fortunately, a man driving by in a car witnessed the tail end of it, called 911 and jumped out to help the boy while the attacker ran off. The police ended up catching him thanks to the good Samaritan. It was pretty shocking to everyone b/c it happened at 3:00 in the afternoon less than a mile from school.

Could it have happened to a girl? Sure. I wonder though if some males feel more guilty about trying to rob women, rather than men, even if women are less of a threat. You know the old, "boys aren't ever supposed to hit a girl" thing that we were taught as kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 8:51pm
I should have finished reading through the thread before responding! I said the exact same thing in response!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 8:56pm
A boy can more or less wash his hands of it, whereas a girl must actively decide whether to abort or give birth and then whether to raise the baby after birth.



The flip side of this is that she can abort even if he feels strongly against that, and he can fairly easily be cut out of the childs life and be stuck with 4 days a month to bond with and raise his child. Plus he usually cannot wash his hands of his financial responsibility, our government has become pretty good at child support enforcement (he could turn out to be a deadbeat but my son/stepsons are not being raised to be that). Plus the risk of STDs affect both genders equally enough that as a parent I see no reason to have different rules for different sons vs daughters.

"The last of human freedoms - the ability to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances." - Viktor Frankl.



Photobucket



Ten Rules for Being Human
"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 9:02pm
Another thing that can happen the father could not even know that he is a father.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 9:04pm

Again, HUH? I thought we were talking about how we set the standards of behavior for our children, not other other people's children. My dd knows my rules, and if she breaks them and gets pregnant, it would be disappointing for me, but a devastating change for her, same as my boys. I would hope they'd grow up too fast with too many responsibilities, but it would not be an easy path.

I will treat my children the same, based on their maturity level and personality traits. The fact that my daughter has a uterus does not affect the limits I will set for her as opposed to my sons.

You stated in post 702:

"I am more cautious of my dd doing things than I know I will be with my ds. "

What's the caution? What pass will your ds get?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 9:34pm

<>


Do you mean my son and his friends?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 9:37pm

<>


Oh, lol...that's what was meant.....no, that's not the picture here.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 9:37pm
Perhaps they are if you lump all violent crime into one big category. However, I'm pretty sure that the risk of violent sexual assault is greater for females of any age. I care about the safety of all my children, but that one risk has me more worried about my own and my daughters safety in risky situations.

"The last of human freedoms - the ability to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances." - Viktor Frankl.



Photobucket



Ten Rules for Being Human
"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 9:42pm

<>


I'm not seeing the difference here.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 01-07-2010 - 9:43pm

It's also about the kids.

PumpkinAngel

Pages