The Working Mom and Custody Issues

Avatar for tickmich
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
The Working Mom and Custody Issues
1693
Mon, 11-30-2009 - 8:24pm

There was an article in this month's Working mother magazine about wrking mom's losing custody to SAHD's.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Thu, 12-10-2009 - 10:41am
Some states call it temporary vs permenant alimony, some use spousal maintence instead of temporary alimony but states have all kinds of different words for the same thing. Everyone has moved away from permenant alimony. I doubt anyone gets that these days. Spousal maintenace is fairly common while divorcing. I had to pay it to my ex for 6 months, but it can go up to 2 years in my state, all the recieving spouse has to do is drag their feet and refuse to sign the final decree (my dh had to pay his ex maintenance too, I think until their house sold, she kept turning down all offers and she was living in the house so didn't have to keep it clean). Spousal maintenance is fairly common after divorce when one parent gave up a career to SAH or needs some help to become employable. Not all states would limit to 3 years like your state does, but I can tell you that would be adequate for me to finish school and get back into the workforce. I'd absolutely ask for it if I were to divorce now and I feel certain I could get it.

"The last of human freedoms - the ability to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances. " - Viktor Frankl.



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"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Thu, 12-10-2009 - 10:47am
I don't think anyone gets it until they remarry meaning you will get it however long you are single. Remarriage usually is an event that will end alimony or maintence prematurely, as in you may be granted 3 years of support payments but if you remarry after one year payments will cease.

"The last of human freedoms - the ability to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances. " - Viktor Frankl.



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"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Thu, 12-10-2009 - 10:59am
It might partially cover tuition, but she would also be able to get loans. It may not be ideal but so many people have to finance their own educations, it isn't that bad. I wonder if they do three years so that if a SAHM truly wants to further her education she has to get on the ball asap, before the divorce is final. If she started when they separate and the divorce takes a year (a completely reasonable minimum period when you have to negotiate property and custody matters) then she's got 4 full years before the payments will end (on top of child support). If she already has a degree, 3 years is enough time to get a masters degree.

"The last of human freedoms - the ability to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances. " - Viktor Frankl.



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"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

Avatar for mommy2amani
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-10-2009 - 11:12am

It sounded to me like the spousal maintenance was to live on, not an amount that would cover any part of tuition.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Thu, 12-10-2009 - 11:33am

I don't see it as much different than returning to school while married. I'm SAH right now and going to school, if I were in the process of divorcing the only difference would be that I'd need to move, but I'd have child support and maintence. If I was getting loans for school now I'd have to keep getting them, but they are my loans either way. Since I am using savings to pay for school now, I'd be entitled to half the marital assets and could use that to continue financing my education. If a woman has the education and skills and can go straight back into the workforce that's great, this is an alternative option for some.

I do think SAHMs should have a plan to get back to working, a plan and a backup plan. Divorce is only one reason she may need to.

"The last of human freedoms - the ability to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances. " - Viktor Frankl.



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"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2009
Thu, 12-10-2009 - 11:36am

Just found this :)

Spousal Support

Today alimony is known as "maintenance" or "spousal support." Unlike child support, there is no set formula to calculate spousal support. A grant of spousal support depends on the facts of the case, such as the disparity between the income of the parties, the duration of the marriage, the health of the parties, and the presence of very young children. In New York spousal support is rarely granted on a permanent basis, except in cases of physical or mental disability or when the parties are elderly (about 60 years old or older). Generally, it is granted for a set period of time so the other party can get back on their feet after the termination of the marriage. The length of time depends on the facts of the case as the judge sees fit to award.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2009
Thu, 12-10-2009 - 2:49pm

Banking as in a teller OR one of the executives?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 12-10-2009 - 3:24pm

hypothetical,two WOH parents rely on both incomes for expenses.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 12-10-2009 - 3:32pm
i cringe at the notion a SAHM needs a "plan" for divorce.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2009
Thu, 12-10-2009 - 3:36pm

Banking as in a teller OR one of the executives? Tellers make in the area of $25,000. i would find it hard to believe that after a 10 year stint as a sahm that she walked into an executive position.

Manager. The average salary in my area is $40,000.

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