The Working Mom and Custody Issues

Avatar for tickmich
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Registered: 03-26-2003
The Working Mom and Custody Issues
1693
Mon, 11-30-2009 - 8:24pm

There was an article in this month's Working mother magazine about wrking mom's losing custody to SAHD's.

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Avatar for mom34101
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 01-08-2010 - 5:27pm
Sorry, I've tried numerous times to explain it to you; that's the best I can do. It *is* less supervision than they require after school, but it's still *more* supervision than what you're talking about at your games and shows. And there is no formal check-in/check-out after school, so I don't know what you're talking about there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 01-08-2010 - 5:27pm

LoL... those are centered around the commons.

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for mom34101
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 01-08-2010 - 5:31pm
Exactly.
Avatar for mom34101
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 01-08-2010 - 5:32pm
Yep. Now I'm just following you around.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 01-08-2010 - 5:35pm

By treating genders differently, isn't that creating a double standard though?


PumpkinAngel

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Registered: 05-10-2009
Fri, 01-08-2010 - 5:38pm
You get a late bus? Dang! I wish we had that! lol
Avatar for mom34101
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 01-08-2010 - 5:41pm
I feel really lucky that we do, since the school is a 30-minute drive. It would take me an hour round-trip.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 01-08-2010 - 5:44pm

<>


Yes, you have.

PumpkinAngel

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Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 01-08-2010 - 5:46pm

<<And there is no formal check-in/check-out after school, so I don't know what you're talking about there. >>


So then how do they know how is there and who isn't without a formal check in/out?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Fri, 01-08-2010 - 6:05pm

No, a double standard is unjust. Treating them in a way that keeps both groups safe, and is reasonable and fair (even if different procedures are used), is not unjust, and is therefore not a double standard. I may have different rules or take different precautions, but I don't have different principles for each gender. The principle is the same - be safe. Safe is affected by the reality of the world out there, which can result in a need for heightened awareness for certain groups based on their characteristics, such is the reality of risk.

Example: The fact that a gay person is treated differently by society is a double standard, it is unjust. The fact a parent might be more worried and concerned about their gay child, and might spend more time to help ensure their gay child is safe, is just, fair, reasonable and a good thing. It's a reaction to a double standard by society, but it is not a double standard on the part of the parent.

Additionally, a double standard affords more privileges to one group over another. I'm not planning to give more privileges to my son over my daughters. It's not like they care about being allowed to walk alone, they care about getting from point A to point B. I think the boys might get from point A to point B a little differently than the girls, as one possible scenario. Another example: I am fine with my OSS hanging out in town after dark in town when he is done with an activity and I am still in class. He has walked several blocks and waited in the Starbucks until I could get him. He is okay waiting, and I am okay with it because I perceive the risk as low. I wouldn't do that with my ODD at the same age, I'd perceive that risk as measurably higher than for my OSS, so in that case I might leave class early, allow it if ODD can find a friend to stay with her, or make other arrangements. It's not removing a privilege, nor is it unjust. It's just a matter of the planning logistics while taking into account the risk.

"The last of human freedoms - the ability to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances." - Viktor Frankl.



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