? for working moms

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2006
? for working moms
2696
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 11:08am

My son is six months old, and I have been back to work full time for four weeks.

I became upset over the weekend when two people (who are very close to me) made comments such as: "it seems like it would be so much easier to drop your kids off at daycare and work full time than to stay home", and even worse, "it's clearly easier to work and have someone else raise your kids than stay home". Both were stated by mothers who have never been in the position of working full-time with children. I disagree thoroughly with both comments (my life is certainly NOT easier now that I'm back to work!)

So... without stiring up the hornet's nest that is the "mommy war"... I am curious, how can I respond to statements like this? Should I respond, or just let it go? How long does it take to get over hearing hurtful things like this?

Any thoughts are appreciated!

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Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 11:12am

I think humor is a valuable tool in cases like this -- I use it liberally - I'll turn it into a joke -- if people would say "don't you MISSS YOUR BABY?" I would say 'what the? baby?

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 11:27am
"Yeah, it's so much easier to put my feet up and eat bon bons at work all day and then come home to the second shift."

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 11:33am

"Thank you for your insight, I'll give it the attention is deserves."

Is what I would say if I had the panache to pull it off with appropriate facial expressions.

Or you could go all hormonal, "Did you just just say what I think you said"- with accompanying head, neck, hip action - although it only really works with a New York or New Jersey accent.

Or the guilt trip, "thanks soooo much for that comment, it makes me feeeeeel sooo much better."

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 11:54am

"Excuse me?" works well both adults and children alike. Practice now; it will come in handy when your son is older. Sah, wah, or woh is what you make it. All three are hard/easy in different ways.

Of course, letting them keep Erica or Dylan for a day usually ends those comments. ;)

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 11:57am

The pissy part of me always wants to respond with " Yeah, it's incredibly easy getting small children packed up and out the door before the crack of dawn.

suzjuly6.jpg picture by LadyCaribou

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 2:11pm
OT:I must say that I'm starting to feel sorry for bon-bon makers. Through no fault of their own, their product has become associated with laziness. That's way OT, but I thought of it reading your post. If I made bon-bons, I'd try a marketing campaign to associate them with a quick break during a busy day rather than slow-paced indulgence.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2007
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 3:59pm

The Icy Glare of Death and "What an interesting assumption. How's the bean dip?"

Such comments are just plain rude and you need not address them at all.

(P.S. for any SAHM reading here, the above also works for you, should you meet anyone crass enough to question your education, ability to be employed gainfully, etc. Such comments are rude, whether it is a SAHM or a WOHM being insulted, and the one being insulted need not address the comments in any meaningful way.)

~~~~~~~~~

Kitty

~~~~~~~~~

Kitty

"BTW, I hate Lifetime. Their movies will suck you in and all of a sudden you've watched 3 in a row, used every tissue in t

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 4:52pm

First who ARE these people? Three of my best friends are SAHM's. They would never say anything like that.


Ok so what to say?


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2007
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 5:37pm
I think nasty comments usually spring from envy. They may well resent the extra income you have.
Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 7:02pm
Ya think? I'm thinking comments this nasty and frankly stupid, spring from lack of intelligence;)

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