? for working moms

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2006
? for working moms
2696
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 11:08am

My son is six months old, and I have been back to work full time for four weeks.

I became upset over the weekend when two people (who are very close to me) made comments such as: "it seems like it would be so much easier to drop your kids off at daycare and work full time than to stay home", and even worse, "it's clearly easier to work and have someone else raise your kids than stay home". Both were stated by mothers who have never been in the position of working full-time with children. I disagree thoroughly with both comments (my life is certainly NOT easier now that I'm back to work!)

So... without stiring up the hornet's nest that is the "mommy war"... I am curious, how can I respond to statements like this? Should I respond, or just let it go? How long does it take to get over hearing hurtful things like this?

Any thoughts are appreciated!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 8:10pm

Really off topic here but my mom makes bon bons. We get them in our Easter baskets. And as a wohm, I really enjoy eating them at work.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
Tue, 03-04-2008 - 8:03am

If they're saying it exactly as you've stated, with the emphasis on DC *raising* the kids and the implication that you're delegating the hard stuff so that you can kick back at work, then I'd be insulted too.


If they're just wistfully remembering how nice it was to be able to dress in a cute suit and heels and go to an office job where you feel smart and useful and get paid for it (which is quite possible, I've reminisced with SAHM friends many times about how comparitively easy our old lives were, we thought working was hard until we SAH), then it's possible you're taking offense where none was intended.


I thought Suzanne made a great point - those of us who are SAHMs who in our previous

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-04-2008 - 9:16am

"The fact is that we've never been WOHMs, just WOHpre-kids, so we're comparing apples and oranges".

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 03-04-2008 - 9:48am
I just saw an ad for a TV show on TLC that speaks to just exactly that feeling. It's called "Secret Life of a Soccer Mom". It's a reality show where the pitch is that SAHMS get to dabble in their dream job. The minute I saw the ad I thought of this board.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-04-2008 - 9:51am

Notice there are no shows allowing WOHMs to dabble in SAHM-dom.


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Avatar for sydandnicks_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Tue, 03-04-2008 - 10:04am
Yes and in the commercials they state that the soccer moms have given up their dreams to "raise their families".

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
Tue, 03-04-2008 - 10:15am

It irks me too, possibly for a different reason.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-04-2008 - 10:23am
Of course, 30 years ago that would have been a fair comment.

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Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 03-04-2008 - 10:27am
My all time favorite line from Hairspray?

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2007
Tue, 03-04-2008 - 10:30am

"it's clearly easier to work and have someone else raise your kids than stay home".


"Wow really?

Jess


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