? for working moms

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2006
? for working moms
2696
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 11:08am

My son is six months old, and I have been back to work full time for four weeks.

I became upset over the weekend when two people (who are very close to me) made comments such as: "it seems like it would be so much easier to drop your kids off at daycare and work full time than to stay home", and even worse, "it's clearly easier to work and have someone else raise your kids than stay home". Both were stated by mothers who have never been in the position of working full-time with children. I disagree thoroughly with both comments (my life is certainly NOT easier now that I'm back to work!)

So... without stiring up the hornet's nest that is the "mommy war"... I am curious, how can I respond to statements like this? Should I respond, or just let it go? How long does it take to get over hearing hurtful things like this?

Any thoughts are appreciated!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 5:53pm

I guess I'm confused about some things. This is my train of thought:

If mothers can work-at-home, they can job-search-from-home (with the exception of the interview itself, see next).

If she is searching for a job so that she can collect unemployment, then she wouldn't need daycare-length hours of help from friends and family, just an hour here or there for interviews. She could do favors, such as errand-running for helpers that don't have children, and for those that do, she could do babysitting-swapping (you watch my kids when I go on an interview, I watch your kids when you go to the movies, etc). Trading services sounds fair to me.

Once the child is in kindergarten, all job searching and interviews could be scheduled for while child is in kindy.

If job has been obtained, then paying for formal childcare during non-kindy hours is no longer an issue.

What am I missing?

Renaissance Siggy



Photobucket THAT'S OUR BOY!








iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 5:55pm

Here it is....



18662.1663 in response to 18662.1653


from:

*********

Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2008
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 5:59pm
I did not bring it into the discussion. You asked about daycare and I said that my son only has 5 more months of daycare (I did say this many times).
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2008
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 6:00pm

I wouldn't worry about getting his spot back, especially this close to kindergarten. Not many people are starting their child in a daycare this close to kindergarten and I know people have come and gone throughout the years and had no problem coming back in.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2008
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 6:05pm
From what we have saved today, less than the 8 months that is suggested.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2008
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 6:06pm
It is but he did have opportunity at one time to have it free.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2008
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 6:08pm
Yes, we have
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2008
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 6:10pm
You must have missed the other posts that I apologized for saying gross instead of net.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 6:12pm
I have never had anyone around willing to do that, but here in Greece it is very common for grandparents to do this for their kids/grandkids, for years. My aunt in Denmark also did it for years, switching off with the other grandma, but still.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 6:12pm

If mothers can work-at-home, they can job-search-from-home


Most mothers wanting to wah are given the advice to use child care, b/c working w/a child in the home is very difficult, if even possible.


If she is searching for a job so that she can collect unemployment


I guess the question is....is she doing the minimum search, so that she can

*********

Ducky

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