? for working moms

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2006
? for working moms
2696
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 11:08am

My son is six months old, and I have been back to work full time for four weeks.

I became upset over the weekend when two people (who are very close to me) made comments such as: "it seems like it would be so much easier to drop your kids off at daycare and work full time than to stay home", and even worse, "it's clearly easier to work and have someone else raise your kids than stay home". Both were stated by mothers who have never been in the position of working full-time with children. I disagree thoroughly with both comments (my life is certainly NOT easier now that I'm back to work!)

So... without stiring up the hornet's nest that is the "mommy war"... I am curious, how can I respond to statements like this? Should I respond, or just let it go? How long does it take to get over hearing hurtful things like this?

Any thoughts are appreciated!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 11:15pm

See that would bother me....I like my children having a grandparent, aunt, uncle cousin relationship with their relatives...I don't want them to have a care giving relationship instead.

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 11:18pm

The reality is if your money earns more in other vehicles than it does in real estate, with the cost of renting included, (tax breaks inclusive) then its better to rent than own. There are situations like this around the world regularly. We are just "sold" on the dream of home ownership in the US. Its not always the best fiscal decision.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 11:27pm

Yes you did, you limited the childcare deducted from a paycheck (aka flex spending) to the next 5 months, I didn't....heck, my kids are a heck of a lot older and we are still paying for daycare (through payroll deductions)

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 11:30pm

I feel really weird that my mother watches my baby while I'm in class (after all, she's a grandma not a nanny), but she actually gets offended if I start talking about putting him in daycare. She starts saying things like "He's too young for daycare" and "Am I doing something wrong? Why don't you want to let me take care of him?", etc. Not that I'm complaining! I am THRILLED to know that my boy is in the hands of such a loving and capable woman. But it feels weird to have un-paid childcare, and I won't even go into the reaction I got when I suggested paying her for her time and effort, LOL.

Honestly, I think she feels like she wasn't a very good mother to me when I was little (she makes reference to this idea a lot), simply through lack of knowledge and experience since I was her first child, and I think she's trying to make it up to me vicariously through my son. I keep telling her that she was and is a GREAT mom, but she still acts like she's full of guilt for not being a "better" mom. Sigh. Why are so many of us so hard on ourselves so often?

Renaissance Siggy



Photobucket THAT'S OUR BOY!








iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 11:30pm

Interesting.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 11:38pm

But you would have to sell the stock,

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 11:43pm

Good point...and not to mention for trips to Port Jefferson on a regular basis to check out restaurants.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 11:53pm

But again, you still have to sell the stock to receive the income and of course pay the tax for selling the stock, if there is a gain.


That is quite a swing for stock price.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2007
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 11:53pm
Hey, I'm there with ya! My condo building abuts a 5 acre parcel of open land and I'm on the ground floor, in the back of the building. I have a nice patio and they let us plant around the perimeter of the building if we want to. My idea of "yard work" is sitting on the patio with a small glass of red wine while the landscapers do their thing (might as well--nigh on impossible to sleep while they mow). Generally the edging/blower guys come through a couple hours later and will rouse me a bit out of my sleep, but not enough to bother waiting for them.

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Kitty

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Kitty

"BTW, I hate Lifetime. Their movies will suck you in and all of a sudden you've watched 3 in a row, used every tissue in t

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2007
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 11:59pm
That's kind of the beauty of *having* a 30-yr mortgage and pre-paying it, vs. a 15 year mortgage, right? the ability to NOT prepay if circumstances warrant cost cutting for a while. There are definite benefits to both kinds of mortgages, but it's silly to deny that a 30 year mortgage is still a 30 year mortgage just because you prepay it.

~~~~~~~~~

Kitty

~~~~~~~~~

Kitty

"BTW, I hate Lifetime. Their movies will suck you in and all of a sudden you've watched 3 in a row, used every tissue in t

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