? for working moms

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2006
? for working moms
2696
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 11:08am

My son is six months old, and I have been back to work full time for four weeks.

I became upset over the weekend when two people (who are very close to me) made comments such as: "it seems like it would be so much easier to drop your kids off at daycare and work full time than to stay home", and even worse, "it's clearly easier to work and have someone else raise your kids than stay home". Both were stated by mothers who have never been in the position of working full-time with children. I disagree thoroughly with both comments (my life is certainly NOT easier now that I'm back to work!)

So... without stiring up the hornet's nest that is the "mommy war"... I am curious, how can I respond to statements like this? Should I respond, or just let it go? How long does it take to get over hearing hurtful things like this?

Any thoughts are appreciated!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 11:18am

If you are talking about one interview, then that could work.

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 11:19am
The point you are missing on purpose is that kids in apartments have places to run around in. Those places are shared with others either in the same apartment complex or the general public. But they HAVE them. Of course kids like to run around in green spaces. A private yard is not the only way (or even the best way) to do that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 11:20am

I'm known to play with my kids on playgrounds and such.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 11:20am
I see your point, and would tend to agree with you. At least, if I get an interview, I will ask family, or ask my DH to adjust his work schedule to accommodate. It does not make sense for me to pay for full-time childcare on the off-chance that I may get an interview, since it's not a frequent occurrence. However, I do see that the others may have a point that an interview is a foreseeable/plannable event, distinct from a sudden, unexpected emergency for which one could not have made advance arrangements for.
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 11:21am
yeah kelly and I have done this even when we dont' have Liza with us though LOL
"If gay Americans are not allowed to get married and have all the benefits that American citizens are entitled to by the Bill of Rights, they should get one hell of a tax break. That is my opinion,"

- Jeane "Dear Abby" Phillips, in an interview with Lisa Leff.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 11:21am
So do kids in aoartment buildings. Your point seems to be that kids in apartment buildings aren't getting the running space and open playspace that kids crave. And they are. Since you keep bringing up how kids need to run around in open spaces, I assumed you never went to public playgrounds- otherwise you would have realized that those are places where kids can run around. Including kids who live in apartments.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 11:22am

"Many have been arguing there's no universal benefit to owning over renting. Do you agree? If so, how do you reconcile that with owning your own home when there's nothing missed out on by renting?"

No, not at all. On the contrary it was claimed that ownership was universally advantageous from a financial POV, which led several people to give exceptions to that rule, either in terms of individual circumstances (the ever moving family, for example) or in terms of more general circumstances obtaining in a particular economy.

In addition it was claimed in various guises that once children were added to a family, home ownership and having a yard were sensible or necessary or that the lack of these constituted neglect. This was countered by people pointing out that:

1. Renting does not necessarily mean renting a tiny apartment with no access to outdoor space.

2. Owning does not necessarily mean space or a yard.

3. Kids can grow up perfectly well without living in a house or apartment with a yard attached.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2007
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 11:22am

This started out for days as a general debate about home ownership and kids.

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 11:25am
actually many of us have offered our own experiences --w ith renting, with ownership, with bankruptcy, with unemployment etc... It's not all about Ducky's situation...
"If gay Americans are not allowed to get married and have all the benefits that American citizens are entitled to by the Bill of Rights, they should get one hell of a tax break. That is my opinion,"

- Jeane "Dear Abby" Phillips, in an interview with Lisa Leff.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 11:25am
I do not know every detail of this person's finances. Given what I do know about him, I would strongly suspect that his investments are as tax sheltered as humanly possible.

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