? for working moms

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2006
? for working moms
2696
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 11:08am

My son is six months old, and I have been back to work full time for four weeks.

I became upset over the weekend when two people (who are very close to me) made comments such as: "it seems like it would be so much easier to drop your kids off at daycare and work full time than to stay home", and even worse, "it's clearly easier to work and have someone else raise your kids than stay home". Both were stated by mothers who have never been in the position of working full-time with children. I disagree thoroughly with both comments (my life is certainly NOT easier now that I'm back to work!)

So... without stiring up the hornet's nest that is the "mommy war"... I am curious, how can I respond to statements like this? Should I respond, or just let it go? How long does it take to get over hearing hurtful things like this?

Any thoughts are appreciated!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 11:28am

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But she can't take her child on the job interview, and she can't qualify for unemployment if she doesn't go to job interviews, and she didn't say that she would have money for childcare (in fact she said that she would have to take the child out of daycare). Sounds like a rock and a hard place to me if there is nobody to watch the child. Bye-bye interview = bye-bye unemployment check = bye-bye house payments = bye-bye house.

Renaissance Siggy



Photobucket THAT'S OUR BOY!








iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 11:28am

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 11:29am
LOL, oh well in that case. There are many different kinds of apartments and many different ways of organizing an apartment. Also, there is no law that a child who lives in an apartment must stay inside that apartment 24/7.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2007
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 11:30am

Oh, then I think you should tell Ducky that she does not have a home.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2008
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 11:31am
Then I have no clue. You will have to repost for me. Thanks :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 11:33am

<But, if you are actively seeking work, you could be going to several interviews a week, for several weeks. Do you have friends and family willing to take that much time off from their own jobs to cover your childcare?>>

Take off work? No. But I know of at least two people, my mother and grandmother, who would watch him several times a week for several weeks, yes. In fact my grandmother would probably move in with us so that I could head out the door at a moment's notice. Plus, many of the people on my list, as I said before, would not need to take off work, as they are either SAHPs, retired, work part-time (they could babysit during either the morning or afternoon, depending on their hours and the time of the interview), etc.





Edited 3/26/2008 11:38 am ET by finally.me




iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 11:34am

"We were discussing individual homes. I consider an apartment a home, don't you? Individual apartments do no generally have yards. "

So now the requirement is not just a yard to run around in but a yard that belongs exclusively to the apartment? You mean kids don't have an adequate amount of space to run around in unless the yard exclusively belongs to the apartment they are living in? What a strange idea! Why must the yard belong to the specific apartment in order to be usable? For us, the main question was whether a yard was available for our use or not...not whether the yard belonged exclusively to our apartment.

"Many have been arguing there's no universal benefit to owning over renting. Do you agree? If so, how do you reconcile that with owning your own home when there's nothing missed out on by renting? "

Hmmm, I would have thought this would be obvious, but apparently not. The lack of a universal benefit to owning over renting in no way implies that owning is no more beneficial than renting in all individual cases. It just means that generalizations about whether owning or renting is better cannot be made. I would assume that in PKA's case there are benefits to owning over renting. We own as there are benefits for us to owning over renting. However, in other cases renting may be the better choice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 11:35am

Actually, way back in the 500s, smellarat made a few nasty comments to ducky about buying a house for her kids. That is what started the debate about home ownership and kids. It's easy to miss those posts, especially since many of them were deleted.

But ducky did not introduce her own situation into the debate. smellarat did.

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 11:37am

Oh, then I think you should tell Ducky that she does not have a home.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 11:37am

"The lack of a universal benefit to owning over renting in no way implies that owning is no more beneficial than renting in all individual cases. It just means that generalizations about whether owning or renting is better cannot be made."


Exactly.

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