? for working moms

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2006
? for working moms
2696
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 11:08am

My son is six months old, and I have been back to work full time for four weeks.

I became upset over the weekend when two people (who are very close to me) made comments such as: "it seems like it would be so much easier to drop your kids off at daycare and work full time than to stay home", and even worse, "it's clearly easier to work and have someone else raise your kids than stay home". Both were stated by mothers who have never been in the position of working full-time with children. I disagree thoroughly with both comments (my life is certainly NOT easier now that I'm back to work!)

So... without stiring up the hornet's nest that is the "mommy war"... I am curious, how can I respond to statements like this? Should I respond, or just let it go? How long does it take to get over hearing hurtful things like this?

Any thoughts are appreciated!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 10:10am

You are right. But then, I use the hyperbole of threatening bodily mayhem to Dylan as a discipline technique. Joy was out in public with me and Dylan once when I threatened to strangle Dylan if he didn't leave the store fixtures alone. She said the look on the woman's face who was passing by was priceless. Dylan, on the other hand, thought it was funny, got the message, and kept his hands to himself. At least for the next 20 minutes or so. :)

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 10:15am

Yeah, I've see that one. I really dislike (hate wouldn't be an exaggeration) those honor student/student of the month bumper stickers. Kids are getting recognized for behavior that should be normal and expected of them. On Friday, Dylan is getting another award for not missing one day of school. Something that really isn't an accomplishment on his part but just a role of the dice.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 12:13pm

You are right. But then, I use the hyperbole of threatening bodily mayhem to Dylan as a discipline technique. Joy was out in public with me and Dylan once when I threatened to strangle Dylan if he didn't leave the store fixtures alone. She said the look on the woman's face who was passing by was priceless. Dylan, on the other hand, thought it was funny, got the message, and kept his hands to himself. At least for the next 20 minutes or so. :)


I was in the grocery store with both kids

suzjuly6.jpg picture by LadyCaribou

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 12:20pm

< I picked him up, put him back in the cart and held his little face in my hands and said "if you get out of the cart again, I will pick you and your sister up, leave the cart in the middle of the store wiht all of your yummy food and bring you home.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 1:55pm

Man, does that bring back memories of driving in the car with Erica. It would take us an hour to go half a mile because I'd have to stop the car to yell at her every few minutes for getting out of her car seat. We had to go and buy another type--one that she couldn't escape from.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2004
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 9:08am

You can reply something like "you're kidding, right? I worry about my baby every second I am not with her, and you can bet it is not easy".


That said, I am one of the people who would rather work than SAH. It makes me a better mommy, because once I am home I focus 100% on DD. After having tried daycare we chose to have a nanny at home so that I wouldn't have to worry so much when I wasn't there.

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 9:24am
but what if she doesn't worry every minute?

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2006
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 9:38am
I've been pumping at work, too... it definitely makes for a more hectic day. That said, being able to take time out of a busy work schedule to sit in a quiet room is nice- it allows me to reconnect with my son and makes me feel like I am doing what is best for him despite being away from him during the day.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 9:52am

I hated pumping at work.

suzjuly6.jpg picture by LadyCaribou

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 9:54pm

Well, I'm kinda sarcastic, so:


"oh, you've done it have you?" or


"yeah, working 40 hours a week, plus commuting, plus doing that second shift of being a mommy, pumping, breastfeeding, laundry, cooking, cleaning, all of course without the benefit of nap time (cuz I'm working during nap time).

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