? for working moms

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2006
? for working moms
2696
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 11:08am

My son is six months old, and I have been back to work full time for four weeks.

I became upset over the weekend when two people (who are very close to me) made comments such as: "it seems like it would be so much easier to drop your kids off at daycare and work full time than to stay home", and even worse, "it's clearly easier to work and have someone else raise your kids than stay home". Both were stated by mothers who have never been in the position of working full-time with children. I disagree thoroughly with both comments (my life is certainly NOT easier now that I'm back to work!)

So... without stiring up the hornet's nest that is the "mommy war"... I am curious, how can I respond to statements like this? Should I respond, or just let it go? How long does it take to get over hearing hurtful things like this?

Any thoughts are appreciated!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Thu, 03-20-2008 - 2:32pm

Why oh why in this country if you don't have a 3 to 4 bedroom home are you cramped....grrr.

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 03-20-2008 - 2:32pm
well you can look at it that way or you can look at it as the voice of experience since three of my best friends in college did indeed live in a 2nd floor walk up above the local indian restaurant -- it was a nifty little place except for the fact that it smelled of curry ALL the time...but we dined there quite frequently! It's still there as amatter of fact.... I have fond memories of the place.
"If gay Americans are not allowed to get married and have all the benefits that American citizens are entitled to by the Bill of Rights, they should get one hell of a tax break. That is my opinion,"

- Jeane "Dear Abby" Phillips, in an interview with Lisa Leff.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Thu, 03-20-2008 - 2:33pm

I have the same amount of room I discussed in the first post 1090 sq feet upstairs and the same in the basement...but you said it was too small in the first post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Thu, 03-20-2008 - 2:34pm
i don't. i never said anything about her situation, i said people that live in apartment's are doing a disservice to their children.
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 03-20-2008 - 2:40pm
well unfortuantely home ownership is out of reach for many many americans so unless people want to raise their kids on the sidewalk there aren't a whole lot of other options.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Thu, 03-20-2008 - 2:42pm

This is not meant as debate, but I just wanted to tell you what I wish someone had told me--having two kids in a two-bedroom house can be really, really frustrating. I think I'm generally pretty good at handling pressure and finding creative solutions, but this challenge has defeated me. I just spent the morning begging my DH, in tears, to buy a new house with 3 or 4 bedrooms. And I used to love our house--it's an older house, ton of character, we did a lot of work on it. I hate it now. My second (now 9 months) has been a terrible sleeper from day one. Which means the whole house is disrupted on a regular basis. My toddler even tells his brother to "shut up" (my mom has fessed up to using that phrase).

I started to type out the gory details, but decided against it. If you want to hear the potential pitfalls, page me in the personal section below.
edited to clarify: I am in no way saying that kids should be raised in a 3 or 4 bedroom house, or anything of the kind. My comments are absolutely not meant to be judgmental. I wish so badly I could make our two-bedroom house work. I know there are other people who do. I just meant in case you wanted to hear some of the issues we've run into.




Edited 3/20/2008 2:47 pm ET by ka032006
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Thu, 03-20-2008 - 2:45pm
ita. there's no privacy, everything is heard. actually i think it' snot healthy when parents put
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-20-2008 - 2:48pm
Peculiar POV, what are your reasons for this opinion? Do you really think that all children ought to be brought up either in the country or in a suburb?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Thu, 03-20-2008 - 2:49pm

don't. i never said anything about her situation, i said people that live in apartment's are doing a disservice to their children. >


You really believe that apartments do a disservice to children...what a crock.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-20-2008 - 2:51pm
Why exactly? Because you assume that all apartments are tiny or what? Most city dwellers live in apartments.

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