? for working moms

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2006
? for working moms
2696
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 11:08am

My son is six months old, and I have been back to work full time for four weeks.

I became upset over the weekend when two people (who are very close to me) made comments such as: "it seems like it would be so much easier to drop your kids off at daycare and work full time than to stay home", and even worse, "it's clearly easier to work and have someone else raise your kids than stay home". Both were stated by mothers who have never been in the position of working full-time with children. I disagree thoroughly with both comments (my life is certainly NOT easier now that I'm back to work!)

So... without stiring up the hornet's nest that is the "mommy war"... I am curious, how can I respond to statements like this? Should I respond, or just let it go? How long does it take to get over hearing hurtful things like this?

Any thoughts are appreciated!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 2:52pm

"We have 4 people in a 3 bedroom house but I could not imagine having 3 kids in one bedroom and then 2 in another and not feeling cramped."

Then maybe the problem is just your lack of imagination. I will freely admit (and already have) I hate having four people and one dog in a two-bedroom house (not because I need more square footage, just because I need a few extra, soundproofed walls), but I can definitely imagine that a family with a quieter dog or a smaller dog, or a calmer dog, and a bunch of good sleepers, or a family who loves noise and hustle and bustle, could make it work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 3:08pm

Oh...now see that would be small compared to our house for four people.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2008
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 3:19pm
If I felt cramped, yes, I would look for something larger or most likely would probably build up on my house before I moved. Since we have a basement and garage, we feel we have ample storage and living area.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 3:23pm

No, no...I can't imagine living in that small of a space, so using your logic, you should find a bigger one, correct?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 3:26pm
You were doing really well until you used the "l" word.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 3:46pm

I don't want to fuel the flames but... it is my understanding that HUD guidelines for housing limit residents to 2 per bedroom.

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 3:53pm

mmm.... I dunno about that - I think it depends on the landlord, on what kind of housing, etc....


god knows in my college apartment we had way more than that in a bedroom! LOL

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2008
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 3:57pm
I don't remember anyone saying that they used HUD. Maybe I am incorrect.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 4:01pm
Doesn't it depend on city housing statutes? For example in Morgantown, four unrelated females are not allowed to live in the same apartment or house. When I worked at an apartment complex in IL, there was some rule that children of mixed gender could not share a room, nor could a parent and child of different genders share a one bedroom apartment.


Edited 3/21/2008 4:01 pm ET by geschichtsgal
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 4:04pm

what? four female friends couldn't rent a house together?

 

Yes. We. Did.

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