? for working moms

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2006
? for working moms
2696
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 11:08am

My son is six months old, and I have been back to work full time for four weeks.

I became upset over the weekend when two people (who are very close to me) made comments such as: "it seems like it would be so much easier to drop your kids off at daycare and work full time than to stay home", and even worse, "it's clearly easier to work and have someone else raise your kids than stay home". Both were stated by mothers who have never been in the position of working full-time with children. I disagree thoroughly with both comments (my life is certainly NOT easier now that I'm back to work!)

So... without stiring up the hornet's nest that is the "mommy war"... I am curious, how can I respond to statements like this? Should I respond, or just let it go? How long does it take to get over hearing hurtful things like this?

Any thoughts are appreciated!

Pages

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 5:42pm

well my father said HIS father said "ok Joe, go with this lady" and my dad said "I don't want to go with her she wants to F--- me!"

you should have seen the rise that story would get out of my VERY catholic mother!

"If gay Americans are not allowed to get married and have all the benefits that American citizens are entitled to by the Bill of Rights, they should get one hell of a tax break. That is my opinion,"

- Jeane "Dear Abby" Phillips, in an interview with Lisa Leff.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 6:19pm
lol!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2008
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 7:10pm

Compared to other homes in my area, my bedrooms are large. I was able to fit:


DS-Bunk Beds, Large Dresser with Mirror, Armoire, Nightstand, Toy Box, Basket of Toys in one corner and basket of books in another corner.


Most of them homes around can only fit a bed, dresser and maybe nightstand

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2008
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 7:19pm

Kids play area, Washer/Dryer, Burner/Boiler/Hot Water Heater, Work Bench, Fridge/Freezer, Holiday Decorations, assorted other things that we store down there.


Not sure what you mean by "did the girls share". I had one sister. We each had our own bedroom and downstairs was set up exactly the way it is now with the same things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2008
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 7:32pm

Financial security to one is different to another. I know people who could care less if they only have $100 to their name, and they are happy. I know people who are not content unless they have lots of money in the bank.


IME people grow out of their homes and buy up most of the time. They are able to do so as they make more money so they are able to afford the bigger expenses. I personally have and will stay in my home as we could build up or out if we needed to and I like my smaller utility bills compared to others I know. I would rather take our raises and put it in savings and for other things than a larger mortgage and utility bill BUT if we felt we just could not live in our home anymore because of the size, we would sell it for something larger.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 7:35pm
I understand that you are content with your living situation. Why can't you understand that others are content with theirs, even if their priorities and living situation is different from what you would choose?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 8:12pm
What if you could not find anything acceptable in your price range?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2008
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 8:21pm
I might go up some and do without so I could have the larger space, if needed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 8:29pm

Is there a sq footage formula for growing out of a home? Why did you describe the size of your son's bedroom by how much stuff you can fit into it, rather than by the size of the room?

IME, growing out of a home often has little to do with family size; buying up is about having more personal choices in a desired home and community because of more disposable income. In the current housing market, buying up may not be an option for awhile because it assumes you can sell your current home to buy the new one.

If I was in the housing market today, I'd rather be in Ducky's position, falling housing prices with no house to sell.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2008
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 8:41pm

"


Is there a sq footage formula for growing out of a home? Why did you describe the size of your son's bedroom by how much stuff you can fit into it, rather than by the size of the room?"


No, there is no sq footage formula but if I did not have a basement or garage, we would have grown out of our home. I described it because it shows how much larger it is to the many bedrooms I have seen before.


"IME, growing out of a home often has little to do with family size; buying up is about having more personal choices in a desired home and community because of more disposable income. In the current housing market, buying up may not be an option for awhile because it assumes you can sell your current home to buy the new one."


There was an article in our local paper today about growing out of homes and buying up. Families do it all the time IME and not just because they have more disposable income. My neighbor did it last year. I do agree that it is harder in this market to buy up though.


"If I was in the housing market today, I'd rather be in Ducky's position, falling housing prices with no house to sell."


So you would rather save up for a downpayment instead of being able to make some money off an existing home to help pay for something else?

Pages