? for working moms

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2006
? for working moms
2696
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 11:08am

My son is six months old, and I have been back to work full time for four weeks.

I became upset over the weekend when two people (who are very close to me) made comments such as: "it seems like it would be so much easier to drop your kids off at daycare and work full time than to stay home", and even worse, "it's clearly easier to work and have someone else raise your kids than stay home". Both were stated by mothers who have never been in the position of working full-time with children. I disagree thoroughly with both comments (my life is certainly NOT easier now that I'm back to work!)

So... without stiring up the hornet's nest that is the "mommy war"... I am curious, how can I respond to statements like this? Should I respond, or just let it go? How long does it take to get over hearing hurtful things like this?

Any thoughts are appreciated!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 8:45pm
What if someone is more comfortable "doing without" extra space than doing without the things that you would be willing to give up?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2008
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 8:51pm

Then that is their choice, never said it wasn't.


IME (and not just in my area), when you

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 9:02pm

I guess I phrased that wrong.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2008
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 9:05pm
Like I said, I would give things up so I could have the extra space if I felt I needed it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 9:24pm

Please explain. Why, IYE, does one buy up, especially without more disposable income? I admit I bought up 8 years ago because we wanted more space when we added kid #3 (we didn't need more space, we had a 3br 1500sqft home on .5 acre of land). The purchase resulted in higher taxes, higher utilities, more day-to-day commuting expenses, lawn and landscaping expenses, and pool expense, though we had a really healthy downpayment that kept our mortgage payments essentially the same. The people who bought our home had 4 children, the 3000sqft home we bought was owned by a childless couple - go figure.

Yep, most definitely, if my downpayment was only my perceived equity in my home to sell. If I can't sell, then my downpayment doesn't exist.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2007
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 10:56pm

What about Tiparillos? Can the dog smoke them? ;)

(Yes, dammit, I *am* old enough to remember the old TV commercial, "Cigars? Cigarettes? Tiparillos?")

~~~~~~~~~

Kitty

~~~~~~~~~

Kitty

"BTW, I hate Lifetime. Their movies will suck you in and all of a sudden you've watched 3 in a row, used every tissue in t

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2007
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 11:02pm
As long as "dropping it" doesn't include you not participating. You rock. You MUST stay.

~~~~~~~~~

Kitty

~~~~~~~~~

Kitty

"BTW, I hate Lifetime. Their movies will suck you in and all of a sudden you've watched 3 in a row, used every tissue in t

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Sat, 03-22-2008 - 8:10am
Everyone one is different. Have you ever heard of the simplicity movement?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Sat, 03-22-2008 - 9:41am

This discussion is interesting to me b/c so many people think they need more space when in reality, they really just need less stuff.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Sat, 03-22-2008 - 9:45am
Just look at the couples on HGTV who are looking for new houses. Apparently, there's just not enough space in a 4000 sq ft home for a new (and first) baby. They have to upgrade. Otherwise, they just couldn't possibly all three fit.
baby in clothes basket

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