? for working moms

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2006
? for working moms
2696
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 11:08am

My son is six months old, and I have been back to work full time for four weeks.

I became upset over the weekend when two people (who are very close to me) made comments such as: "it seems like it would be so much easier to drop your kids off at daycare and work full time than to stay home", and even worse, "it's clearly easier to work and have someone else raise your kids than stay home". Both were stated by mothers who have never been in the position of working full-time with children. I disagree thoroughly with both comments (my life is certainly NOT easier now that I'm back to work!)

So... without stiring up the hornet's nest that is the "mommy war"... I am curious, how can I respond to statements like this? Should I respond, or just let it go? How long does it take to get over hearing hurtful things like this?

Any thoughts are appreciated!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2008
Sat, 03-22-2008 - 6:52pm
I thought she just bought this beautiful condo recently? Why would she want to move or why wouldn't you want to move into hers?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2008
Sat, 03-22-2008 - 6:58pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Sat, 03-22-2008 - 6:59pm

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 03-22-2008 - 7:00pm
nope she had a condo that she doesn't have any more and she now rents a truly gorgeous apartment on the top floor of a victorian about 2 miles from me -- we both love her place which is why she probably won't move in for another year or so (also b/c she really likes her landlord) and that gives us time to do things to my condo -- we just figured out that with our two salaries combined I can finally do all the things i"ve dreamed of doing to my place, I have an AWESOME interest rate of 4.9 on my mortgage of about $135,000

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sat, 03-22-2008 - 7:07pm

I agree and having more space, allows me to have and keep

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 03-22-2008 - 7:07pm
No, the part about the mortgage staying the same is a bit odd. Maybe it was an interest only mortgage. That's the only thing I can see making any real sense, or else moving up in size but down in terms of desirability of hood.
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 03-22-2008 - 7:11pm
you and me BOTH - I have a ton of my mom's stuff I hve to figure out what to do with on top of mine., plus we're in the process of thinking that the next year is a good time to transition the finished basement from 'playroom' to 'tween hangout' and "mommy and Kelly's office' and 'lizas homework corner'

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 03-22-2008 - 7:14pm
Is that the lady who is married to a cop and who flipped houses for a living?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Sat, 03-22-2008 - 7:18pm

I have actually known people who did this, upgraded and kept the same monthly mortgage payment. But in every case, it was because they were incredibly handy and resourceful, or else paid extra to their mortgage every month. So either their first home increased in value a little more than the home to which they upgraded, or the extra money spent on their mortgage every month gave them a little extra equity for a larger down payment on the next house. Example, let's say housing values doubled in a 7-year period in a particular area.

House #1: purchased for 150,000, financed 135,000 (requiring pmi insurance). spent $20,000 on new kitchen. nickel and dime on other improvements. sweat equity. overall increase in value, before the adjustment for increased property values throughout the area: $50,000. paid a bit extra on mortgage payments each month. Seven years later: sale price is $400,000. still owe 95,000.
House #2: sale price $450,000. financed 145,000. better interest rate, no pmi insurance. monthly payment is the same.

notice that the upgrade is actually small--a $50,000 difference in current fair market value. From the viewpoint of the homeowner, though, it often seems like more of a difference because the difference in the sale prices at times of purchase for that homeowner. And, for the people I know that did this, the home they sold was completely finished, polished, updated, and the home they bought needed a great deal of cosmetic work. so while their mortgage stayed the same, the other costs they incurred with the new home were a bit hefty. but the end result was still that they upgraded and kept their monthly payment the same.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sat, 03-22-2008 - 7:21pm

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Okay,

PumpkinAngel

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