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| Mon, 03-03-2008 - 11:08am |
My son is six months old, and I have been back to work full time for four weeks.
I became upset over the weekend when two people (who are very close to me) made comments such as: "it seems like it would be so much easier to drop your kids off at daycare and work full time than to stay home", and even worse, "it's clearly easier to work and have someone else raise your kids than stay home". Both were stated by mothers who have never been in the position of working full-time with children. I disagree thoroughly with both comments (my life is certainly NOT easier now that I'm back to work!)
So... without stiring up the hornet's nest that is the "mommy war"... I am curious, how can I respond to statements like this? Should I respond, or just let it go? How long does it take to get over hearing hurtful things like this?
Any thoughts are appreciated!

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Yes. We. Did.
I agree and having more space, allows me to have and keep
PumpkinAngel
Yes. We. Did.
I have actually known people who did this, upgraded and kept the same monthly mortgage payment. But in every case, it was because they were incredibly handy and resourceful, or else paid extra to their mortgage every month. So either their first home increased in value a little more than the home to which they upgraded, or the extra money spent on their mortgage every month gave them a little extra equity for a larger down payment on the next house. Example, let's say housing values doubled in a 7-year period in a particular area.
House #1: purchased for 150,000, financed 135,000 (requiring pmi insurance). spent $20,000 on new kitchen. nickel and dime on other improvements. sweat equity. overall increase in value, before the adjustment for increased property values throughout the area: $50,000. paid a bit extra on mortgage payments each month. Seven years later: sale price is $400,000. still owe 95,000.
House #2: sale price $450,000. financed 145,000. better interest rate, no pmi insurance. monthly payment is the same.
notice that the upgrade is actually small--a $50,000 difference in current fair market value. From the viewpoint of the homeowner, though, it often seems like more of a difference because the difference in the sale prices at times of purchase for that homeowner. And, for the people I know that did this, the home they sold was completely finished, polished, updated, and the home they bought needed a great deal of cosmetic work. so while their mortgage stayed the same, the other costs they incurred with the new home were a bit hefty. but the end result was still that they upgraded and kept their monthly payment the same.
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Okay,
PumpkinAngel
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