? for working moms

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2006
? for working moms
2696
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 11:08am

My son is six months old, and I have been back to work full time for four weeks.

I became upset over the weekend when two people (who are very close to me) made comments such as: "it seems like it would be so much easier to drop your kids off at daycare and work full time than to stay home", and even worse, "it's clearly easier to work and have someone else raise your kids than stay home". Both were stated by mothers who have never been in the position of working full-time with children. I disagree thoroughly with both comments (my life is certainly NOT easier now that I'm back to work!)

So... without stiring up the hornet's nest that is the "mommy war"... I am curious, how can I respond to statements like this? Should I respond, or just let it go? How long does it take to get over hearing hurtful things like this?

Any thoughts are appreciated!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 03-22-2008 - 7:25pm
yes, that also makes sense. I had not considered sweat equity.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Sat, 03-22-2008 - 9:23pm
I bought up and my mortgage stayed the same because I had a big down payment based on capital gains and my interest rate went down by 2% pts to 4.7% so I got to borrow more at the same payback rate. But, I have to pay 5 more years than my original mortgage because the term restarted from the time of purchase.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2007
Sat, 03-22-2008 - 9:42pm
That may be true, but it is extremely unlikely, unless one moves to a totally different area. Real estate generally increases or decreases in value in a region as a whole.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2007
Sat, 03-22-2008 - 9:43pm
Maybe they moved from California to Texas or something. ;)
Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 03-22-2008 - 9:50pm
Sure. But again, havent seen anything like that term in ages out here. Sounds like something my grandmother would have said:) That and horsefeathers; cats' pajama's, etc.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 03-23-2008 - 1:07am
Like I said, it was clearly going out of style the last time I saw it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Sun, 03-23-2008 - 8:05am

But they kept adding to the number of years that it would be paid off. THe monthly payment may have stayed the same, but if you get another mortgage that clock usaully starts at the beginning again.

For example, if you bought a house and paid the mortgage for 7 years on a 30 year mortgage. Then you sold it and bought another at the same monthly rate but now instead of only have 23 years left to pay you have 30 more years to pay. To me, that is a mortgage increase, even if the monthly rate stayed the same.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Sun, 03-23-2008 - 8:07am

"But, I have to pay 5 more years than my original mortgage because the term restarted from the time of purchase."

Exactly, it's not really "the same" it is actually more expensive. The extra years of mortgage paying is the part people often forget to put into their calculations.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Sun, 03-23-2008 - 8:17am
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2007
Sun, 03-23-2008 - 9:11am
And sometimes your husband just falls in love with another home in the same town and has to have it!

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