? for working moms

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2006
? for working moms
2696
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 11:08am

My son is six months old, and I have been back to work full time for four weeks.

I became upset over the weekend when two people (who are very close to me) made comments such as: "it seems like it would be so much easier to drop your kids off at daycare and work full time than to stay home", and even worse, "it's clearly easier to work and have someone else raise your kids than stay home". Both were stated by mothers who have never been in the position of working full-time with children. I disagree thoroughly with both comments (my life is certainly NOT easier now that I'm back to work!)

So... without stiring up the hornet's nest that is the "mommy war"... I am curious, how can I respond to statements like this? Should I respond, or just let it go? How long does it take to get over hearing hurtful things like this?

Any thoughts are appreciated!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2007
Sun, 03-23-2008 - 5:00pm
But you conveniently didn't mention that there was 3 years in between the time they sold the first house and bought the second. (Until now) Those are extenuating circumstances if I've ever seen em, and certainly not common. And it certainly doesn't "prove" that the average person can move to a bigger house easily with no increase in mortgage.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Sun, 03-23-2008 - 5:07pm
Sorry to butt in with a question everyone, but what's an average mortgage rate? I'm using an online calculator to figure out what I can afford, and I know exactly NOTHING about homeownership. It wants me to enter my anticipated mortgage rate. Heck if I know, so I'm just wondering what the average is. Thanks!
Renaissance Siggy



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Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 03-23-2008 - 5:10pm

I think if you look up several of your local banks, and/or mortgage companies (like Wells Fargo) you can get a representative idea. I also know that our local sunday paper publishes this in the real estate section each sunday -- hope that is helpful.

I was SO lucky when I got divorced and bought my condo - my friend who is a mortgage originator worked major magic to get me qualified for NH Housing Authority financing which is why I got locked in at 4.9% for a 30 year fixed... I have some terms around it (I can't 'flip it' etc..) but man has it saved my hide during these tough financial times.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 03-23-2008 - 5:10pm

Not being a mortgage expert, but wouldn't there be an increase in the mortgage, at least in time?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2008
Sun, 03-23-2008 - 5:13pm
"A few years back dh lost his job, and I was ill. We had depleted our savings, and had some debt. We could not afford the house we had, so we sold it, and moved into town, and into a 3bed/2bath 1000 sf apartement. We have chosen to stay in said apartment. We have no debt, and live a very simple life. We are looking for a new home, but have not found anything that meets all (or most) of our wants for the price we are currently willing to pay. "

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Sun, 03-23-2008 - 5:14pm
Oh, so mortgage rates are a fixed thing, not something that you get better or worse rates on because of your credit? I can't find "mortgage rate" in the housing section of the newspaper, and the banks are closed today, so I'll just put 10% into the calculator and see what it says. Thanks.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2008
Sun, 03-23-2008 - 5:15pm

I truly hope that people do tell the truth all the time but you are old enough to know that they don't and especially when they are online and safe behind a computer.


You might not have said it before because you were embarassed too, and I totally understand that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2007
Sun, 03-23-2008 - 5:18pm
True... I'm still trying to figure this out. You buy a house for 100k, say 3 years go by, you sell it for 200k. (Time of high prices.) Sure, you now have $100k to put down on a house, but since you are financing the same amount of money presumably to have the same mortgage, you can only finance 100k. Which buys you a 200k house. Exactly what you just sold. I mean, the mortgage payments in the 1st 3 yrs hardly touch the principal.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2008
Sun, 03-23-2008 - 5:20pm

I said they moved to 3 homes in 10 years.


Most people IME only stay in their 1st homes for 5 years and then move up to something larger.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 03-23-2008 - 5:20pm

So?

PumpkinAngel

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