the working parent is spoiled with a SAHM?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
the working parent is spoiled with a SAHM?
54
Mon, 08-15-2011 - 10:37am

some people associate SAH as this spoiled opportunity with feet kicked up all day because s/he doesn't have to work but to reverse that, friend and me were talking (a she and i exchange) and the subject of chores, who plans most dinners and things like that were brought up.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 08-17-2011 - 2:16pm
then her opinion was one about herself NOT my husband. thanks, shaking head.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 08-17-2011 - 2:17pm
ahh, got it.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Wed, 08-17-2011 - 4:26pm

Youre kidding.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Wed, 08-17-2011 - 5:37pm
I think if men really are doing five hours w eek more in childcare/housework than they were doing five years ago, and this statistic holds true whether or not the wife works outside the home, then yeah, the SAH wife is the beneficiary here. That's either five hours a week she didn"t have five years ago, or five hours of work that wasn't getting done at all five years ago.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Wed, 08-17-2011 - 7:14pm
egd3blessed wrote:
then her opinion was one about herself NOT my husband. thanks, shaking head.

Did I miss the part where this discussion became about you and yours?

************

Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 08-17-2011 - 8:13pm

and what i'm saying is that if he's picking up more childcare/housework its probably because of what the average household looks like then too, or do you think there's still a fair amount of husbands with sahws to two income households to measure that?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Wed, 08-17-2011 - 9:17pm

The results of the longitudinal study were released by researchers from the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research in April of this year.

They compared households with two working spouses, and households with a SAH spouse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Wed, 08-17-2011 - 10:04pm
tryingtoquit wrote:

Youre kidding.

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Wed, 08-17-2011 - 10:24pm

Interesting topic. I have often told my husband that I think the hardest part of being a two-income family was on him--because he was doing everything his dad did, plus some. So his day-to-day life has been harder than he would have expected based on the family dynamic he witnessed. Whereas for me, I have less on my plate than my mom did, because she worked and took on all of the stereotypical woman's roles. As a result, I am constantly saying he does more than his share when in fact, we are probably 50/50.

On the other hand, he says he remembers the financial stress, and his dad having to work long hours, and feels, from that perspective, his life is easier/better in some ways than his dad's.

In general, I think if there were some kind of contest, and you stacked WOH parents with working spouses, WOH parents with SAH spouses, and SAH parents with working spouses, that the WOH parent with a SAH spouse (a traditional dynamic, WOH parent responsible for very little housework/child care), I do think the WOH parent with the SAH spouse would have it the best. On the other hand, the WOH parent with a WOH spouse who also does all of the housework and childcare--that would be awesome. Or better yet, how about a foursome. one to SAH and do the inside chores plus childcare, one to SAH and do the outside chores plus childcare, and two to work and bring in the money. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Thu, 08-18-2011 - 3:37pm

I think it really depends on each family's dynamic. If both parents work, and one parent picks up most of the child care and housework, the parent not doing the extra work clearly has it easy. If both parents work, and share child care and housework fairly evenly, it would be a pretty even split-- unless one person works 60 hours a week, while the other works 40 and still does 50% of the child care and housework. Also, if a SAHP has 4 kids ranging from infant to 10 yo, and does all of the housework and child care, his or her spouse is probably spoiled. If the SAHP has two children in elementary school and his or her spouse splits housework and child care evenly, I'd say the SAHP has the better end of the deal. So, I guess it really just depends on each individual case.

It does seem to make sense to me that men are doing more housework, and kind of goes along with what Tryingtoquit said about us all being spoiled. Men, in particular, have had a lot of outside responsibilities eliminated. Women to some degree as well, but I have a feeling more people do things like hire someone to mow the grass (a typical man chore) than they do to clean the house and do the laundry (typical women's work).